Our imminent doom... and salvation

So I am the leader of a local Boy Scout troop. As part of Scouting you are supposed to live by the motto "be prepared." My boys were having a tough time of this, especially when it came to learning how to navigate by the stars and determining directions without a compass or GPS. They complained that they would always have a GPS so why have to learn these things?

So I asked what was the worst case scenario that they could think of.

One said being lost in the woods with a broken leg. (I had to embellish this, because that just isn't that bad...) I added that is was early spring and there is a mother bear with two cubs nearby as well.

One said having your boat sink in shark infested waters and no flotation device. (I added that they have a deep puncture wound in their thigh).

They listed a few other situations of lesser concern... Finally I was through. I asked the most important question EVER. "What about the Zombie Apocalypse?" Seriously, that got their undivided attention. They now go into every single situation and merit badge with the thought of how this will aid in the Zombie plague that is bound to happen eventually.

In that light, I thought I would share a great idea that I found floating (pun intended) around on the web. It could work and I bet this was thought of by a Boy Scout.

It must be a conspiracy...

I have noticed that whenever I am in need of NyQuil (aka "the greatest drug eva!") there is only a little left in the bottle. Not enough to actually let me sleep... just enough that I am left irate. Which means that I have to go and get some more. I never notice that I am almost out of ambrosia... I mean NyQuil... until I am sick and need it again.

Upon returning from the store, I believe I just discovered the reason. There is only enough in each bottle for about 4 or 5 nights of blissful rest. Roughly the number of nights you would have a cold bad enough that you can't sleep... They do that on purpose. I know they do.

Damn you, Vicks marketing group!

Can you believe that she has been with me for 30 years?

Tomorrow is our anniversary. Yeah, 3 years (though I swear that I am really old, so it must be more like 30, but 30 years of bliss!).

Who would have thought that my wife would be able to put up with my negative attitude for this long? I would say that 90% of everything I have to comment on is negative. It took her an entire year to realize that I am a jerk to everyone (except her). Another year to realize that I am cantankerous, ornery, and short tempered when I am hungry (30% of my day), tired (80% of the time these days), or don't get my football game on TV (1% of my life). Yet she remains steadfastly supportive and caring.

It never ceases to amaze me.

Honey, I love you! And I know that you are the perfect woman for me! Happy Anniversary!

Morning jog?

I hate running. I have NEVER felt that "runner's high" that people talk about. Though that could be because I have never gone much further than 2 miles... Instead I just feel tired out, sweaty, and cranky after I run. My knees hurt, my back hurts, and my hip hurts. Generally I am just a whiner after I run. And no one likes whining, so I try to avoid running.

However, running is good for you. You gotta get some exercise, right? So, I dragged my butt out of bed at 5:30 this morning and made my neighbor go run with me. In an effort to avoid aching joints I thought we should avoid pavement and go run some trails at Lick Creek park...

The problem: There was something following us. I am fairly certain it wasn't a cougar, they don't make noise when they are going to eat something. So, I think it was a hyena... or maybe a small tiger? Big dog? I don't know, it was dark, in the woods, before the sun was up, I was still sleepy. I don't know what it was. I do know that it was as tall as mid thigh (I am 5'10") made lots of noise as it ran through the undergrowth at us and scared the crap out of me (a razorback? they have those in Texas, right?).

My neighbor told me when we got back to the car that he was surprised that I was such a fast runner, considering how little I run. I just told him, as long as I am faster than him, whatever it was would eat him instead.

Texas Transition part 2: They are bigger

I know that they say everything is bigger in Texas, but that is not totally true. It is just that once you get down here, you realize that all of the bugs are HUGE. They are so large in fact that change the names once they reach a certain size. Like a roach is actually called a "waterbug" once it is large enough that you might not be able to kill it with a baseball bat (that is not a joke - scared the crap out of me when it tried to crawl away after I beat it). Now why it becomes a "waterbug" when it actually is just a big freaking cockroach - I don't know. But they are gross.

But the really terrifying things are the Field Spiders and Wolf Spiders here... That image above is about life size. The first one I saw was well and truly the size of my palm, she was on the back porch and I decided to name her Shelob (10 points to anyone that gets that joke). I thought she was large enough that I should domesticate her and keep her as a watch animal in the back. But beware they jump... and they are really fast... and I only had a wood spoon... and I had to put a bell on my child to make sure I would know when they have carried him off. Seriously though, there is nothing as creepy as having one of these behemoths crawl across your foot. Ugh! Also, please note that they are large enough that you DO feel it when they bite. It hurts.

So come on down to Texas and see the freaky wildlife.

The Texas Transition - part 1

So we are finally here in Texas. Moved in... with most of our stuff.

Here begins the chronicles of The Texas Transition!!!

Today, will share the move. We planned to have all of our stuff packed up and on its way to Tejas on July 5. It almost worked too, if it weren't for that pesky moving company (I am so glad I grew up with Scooby)!

So lets get the basics down. The company name is "Serenity Van Lines" and with a name like that you would expect... well, serenity. Instead, I got morons that can't do fifth grade math and who over promise and under deliver.

Marc was our sales guy. I told him, "I have a 10x13x9' storage unit that holds everything that I need moved. He says, "great, that will be $1,800." Then he sends me an email with this "quote" in it. I ask him when it will be delivered, and he says when do you need it. I tell him the 10th of July, he says will do. This is the last time I am allowed to speak to Marc. Apparently, from here on out, I only get to speak to Sarah - the one and only person that will answer the phone and who REFUSES to let you speak to anyone else.

The truck is supposed to arrive to load our stuff at 7am on the 5th of July. We here NOTHING from them, until 9am at which time they tell us they had a flat tire. (HMMM...) But they finally get there at 10am, but what is 3 hours between friends? When I open the storage door, he goes, "that is way more than I was told you had." Now if you are like me, you are wondering - how is that? I said that I had a 10x13x9' and this is a 10x13x9' unit... he then says, "I was told you have 640 cubic feet." This means that Marc somehow got 640cu/ft from the dimensions I gave him. Now I welcome anyone to figure out how you can get that number from those measurements (put it in the comments if you figure it out). Cause whenever I do it, I come up with 1170cu/ft, which is 2x what Marc got. Guess what the does to my "quote"? it destroys it! I ended up paying $3,750 to get my stuff on a truck and on its way to Texas.

Except it wasn't on its way to Texas. Not at all. We don't hear from them until we call them on July 9 to confirm that we will have our stuff the next day. We aren't very fond of sleeping on concrete floors after all. Sarah tells me wife that we wont get our stuff for 21 business days. My wife, tells her she will need to speak with me and hangs up (this is done while we are driving two cars across TX). I call, and ask Sarah why we wont have our stuff for a month? Sarah tells me that my wife is a liar and that she didn't tell her a month. I bite my tongue, because I am not too keen on people calling my wife a liar. I ask her what she DID tell my wife? she says, "21 business days." I can't help it. I ask her how many business days are in a week. She tells me not to take that tone with her. I tell her I would try not to, but that by any measurement, 21 business days is a month. Now back to when I will get my furniture? Sarah, has no idea, but they will call us 24 hours before it will arrive. Do you know where it is now? Sarah, huffs and then lets me know that it hasn't left California yet... GRRRRR!

To shorten this lengthy tale, we got our stuff 8 days after it was supposed to arrive. They had broken multiple items of furniture, and judging by how things have gone thus far, I do not anticipate getting reimbursed for any of it.

I hate Serenity Van Lines. They are liars, cheats, and scam artists. No one should ever use them.

Part 2 coming soon...

A good book... sorta...

I just finished reading "The Informers" by Bret Easton Ellis. First, it was hands down one of the most depressing books I have ever read. It left me so... disillusioned with the the human character. It makes me want to rage at the moral bankruptcy that is portrayed in the pages. I have never read a book so devoid of hopelessness! "Lord of the Flies" and "Frankenstein" have always been at the top of my list for books that display human nature in real detail... now I have to add this book.

While I found the later books to have a protagonist that gives a positive spin on human nature, "The Informers" leaves me with a feeling of udder hopelessness. There is no character in this book that is not completely hollow and empty. I feel huge amounts of sadness for these people, that have everything that money could ever provide - yet they have nothing of real meaning. And that is the precise reason that I feel this book has affected me. I recognize what is meaningful and productive in my life. I am immensely grateful that I randomly grabbed this book.

If any readers have read this, let me know what you thought as well.

Who is the bad parent here?

You see that AK-47? That is what the kid at the park pointed at my son. When I told that 3-4 year-old (I assume, since he couldn't string a complete sentence together) not to point guns at people, he then pointed it at me and pulled the trigger. I was NOT amused. I told him, if he pointed it at me or my son again, I would take it from him.

His parents decided that I had no business speaking to their son and came to "discuss" my "poor behavior." I explained, that I don't think a responsible parent would allow their young* child to have such realistic replica weapons. Moreover, as a gun owner, I feel that it is irresponsible to not teach children that guns are not toys - and as such, should NEVER be pointed at another person.**

They then told me that they don't believe in guns, and that this wouldn't be a problem if people weren't allowed to own firearms...

I almost threw a fit right there. What kind of bas-ackward, moronic logic is that? You "don't believe in guns," yet you give your 3-year-old a toy gun? My tirade just getting started, they interject, "it is only an air-soft gun, it can't kill people - like your guns." I just stopped. I don't even know what to say to that. I literally gathered up my son and left.

My wife says I can't go to the park alone anymore.

* boys will be boys, and make anything into a gun after about age 6. But if you decide to furnish toy guns, make sure they aren't real looking.

** unless of course you are planning on shooting that person, in which case I hope your child has developed enough moral reasoning to make such a decision.

Behold! the Dictator!

If any of you were wondering, this is how it all starts. He pulls people out of the chair, climbs up, and begins to tell you that it is his chair and that you can't sit there... I guess that settles the matter. He runs the house.

Warning: I think this is the grossest thing I have seen.

I have seen people pee on parked cars in LA, I have even seen them pee on the seats in the train, but nothing compares to the above picture. I have debated writing about this because 1) it is simply too gross, and 2) I am not sure anyone really would want to know this... However, after a brief discussion with a colleague, it was decided that I must have a picture to prove that this is not all made up.

In case you can't tell what that is, it is a plastic bag full of vomit. It has been left on the train platform for about two weeks now. I would guess that the reason it is still there, is because no one will touch it. Frankly, can you blame them? So it has sat there and slowly the knot at the top has come undone and it has begun to leak out over the pavement. To add to the disturbing nature of this (check your gag reflex!) the plastic bag has kept it from drying out. It is now a gelatin like consistency. *shudder*

Strangely, this only makes me wonder who did this? I mean, if you are feeling so sick that you can't make it to a garbage can, why didn't you toss your cookies in the gutter (not more than 3 feet away)? Or at least someplace that can be sprayed down with a hose? What if you were on the train and only had the plastic bag? That is all well and good, but why would you leave the bag on the platform, rather than throw it away (again, there is a trashcan not more than 10 feet away)?

What is wrong with some people?

Some people really shouldn't procreate.

I think it should be a prerequisite for anyone that chooses to argue with a stranger, to understand the basic requirements of logic. (As an aside, it would also be of use to know the proper use of simile and metaphor).

I say this because a woman listened to a phone conversation that I had with my wife. I realize that I am on the train and so this conversation is not completely "private." So I will forgive her that she decided to start a conversation with me based on that. The topic was: "I want to get a dog."

She asked what kind of dog that I wanted. I told her a Rottweiler. Easy, right? unfortunately not. She told me that they are really stupid dogs. I responded, that wasn't my impression - after all, they use them for service dogs, guard dogs, rescue, police and military - they can't be that stupid. She says, "no, they don't use them for those things." I again, confirm that they do indeed. "no, they don't! I have never seen one!" (please remember that bold line, it will explain much of my irritation later). I can't help it, I pull up a picture on my phone of the German Military using them, to which she says, "Well they don't use them in the US." I was amazed... what ignorance is couched in a statement such as that? Is it that they don't exist in the US? Or just that anything that is done outside of US borders irrelevant?

*grrrr* my irritation is showing on my face.

She notices and somehow makes this HUGE leap... "I bet you are one of those religious nuts, aren't you? I can tell that you are annoyed, because I keep proving you wrong." I am so irate at that statement/assumption/question that I don't know which to address first. Did she anywhere "prove me wrong" and even if she had somehow done that, how would she determine if I were religious? Are all people that dislike being "proven wrong" religious? I decide to go with a bit of tact (or maybe not...).

"So, you prove religious people wrong? How so?"

"Oh! It is easy!" she practically squealed with delight. "I just ask if they have ever seen God, of course they haven't, so... they have to admit that God doesn't exist."

Wow... if only all arguments were solved so easily.

Palm Tree are tougher than they look

On windy days I can see palm trees swaying back and forth. They look so thin and flexible, I just have a hard time thinking they are strong. I mean I can walk up and push on the trunk and it will move back and forth. I know that they are designed that way by nature to protect from topical storms, etc. I also know that there are multiple ways to define strength. But they seem really weak to me.

Until... I saw a Toyota Corolla get completely pwned by a palm that was only about 6" thick on the 55 freeway, this morning. Yeah, the tree was still there doing fine. That car got completely jacked (driver seemed to be ok).

I really wish I had a picture...

I was sat on... again.

Today I decided that I am not going to miss riding the bus/train when I leave this job. I was sat on again. This woman had the common decency to be embarrassed and apologize, but I really don't like it. Apology or not, she wiggled her butt to fit better in the seat. That is very uncomfortable.

I remember why I take the train.

I often talk about the strange people/things/events that happen on my train ride into work. If you ever wondered why I take the train instead of driving, wonder no more! I decided to drive in to work today.

Here are the facts:

1. The train takes 50 minutes + 10 minutes on each side of that trip = 70 minutes
2. I left earlier than I leave to catch the train, to "beat the traffic" and still spent 120 minutes sitting in traffic, being cut off, honked at when there is roughly 5 million cars in front of me, etc.
3. It takes 1/4 of a tank of gas for a round trip.
   
4. 120 - 70 = 50 minutes of awesomeness.

I can honestly say that I fully understand how a person can develop road rage (I am not condoning that behavior) here in Southern California. If I had been driving this commute for the last few years, I am sure my mental state would be in question.

So, I don't think I will drive again.

How can we help people apply this?

I was speaking with a colleague about the current economic conditions. We were discussing Greece and their predicament, and why that could (and frankly should) happen in the United States. By all measurements, especially Debt/GDP we are in worse shape than Greece. Why haven't we started to fix this I asked?

He expressed a good point: the common people don't really know how this is going to effect them. College professors, politicians, etc. can talk about GDP, National Debt, Keynesian theory - but until someone says "if this happens, no one has a job" people will continue to argue for Government spending.

So in that spirit, here is my attempt at making this simple.

The United States Dollar is the reserve currency of the world. This means that EVERY country will pretty much accept your US dollar. Our CURRENT debt estimate for the next ten years ($107 Trillion) is so high that we are UNABLE to service our debt. We have been effectively servicing our debt by rolling it to a new borrower, much like shifting the balance of my Visa to my MasterCard. In the end, they BOTH want to be paid, but we just CAN'T pay right now. We can not increase taxes enough to cover this debt. We can't even really inflate our way out of this debt. The only way to take care of this is CUT spending. Period. The Supreme Court has the authority to FORCE Congress to uphold their oaths. They can follow the Constitution and eliminate all other government spending that is not dictated in that document. This means Social Security, Medicare/Medicaid, etc. (this alone could possibly fix it) and even Defense (which is dictated) could be cut in half, because we DON'T have to police the world.

Now, how does that effect you? If the government defaults or inflates the dollar supply ALL of your money becomes useless. You will NOT be able to purchase food, housing, etc. with it. It will be as useful as toilet paper.

What do we do to fix it? We have to elect Representatives that will make the tough choices. That will ACTUALLY cut spending. And then we need to NOT PUNISH them for doing what needs to be done. What do you all say?

PS - If you are interested this article explains this concept fairly well.

I am inspired by this.

There is a nice guy with a blog called Zefrank. I love his positive attitude on there. He lists all kinds of projects that he works on. This one in particular really moved me. I think we can all relate to the feelings expressed by the song.

I love that he did this just to be nice. We could all use a virtual (or real) hug sometimes, it is nice that someone is willing to.

Let me know what you all think.

I should get an honorary degree

I am sitting on the train as usual. At this point I don't even pretend to avoid people on the train, the dumbest people are drawn to me like a moth to flame.

I find myself unabashedly listening to the discussion of two people across the aisle from me. A large bearded man and a woman in her late forties(ish?).

Man: "Did you know that cocoa and cocaine come from the same plant? Amazing that such different things can come from the same source!"

Woman: That is astounding! Are you sure?

Man: (leaning over toward me) She doesn't believe me, you know that don't you? You tell her!

Me: Well, actually they aren't the same at all. Cocoa comes from the cocoa bean and Cocaine comes from the Coca plant. They aren't even in the same genus.

Man: What, are you some kind of botanist?

Me: For the purposes of this conversation? Yes, I am.

Aren't there rules for this?

So on the train I noticed something that has been in my periphery for some time. I attribute the oversight to always having to watch out for that sociopath...

Anyway, the train goes right past these subsidized/Income restricted housing(also sometimes called a ghetto) and I noticed that 3/4 of the apartments have a satellite dish. Now I am not certain of the cost of those dishes, but if I have to guess I would put the cost at about $100 plus the Monthly payment that has to be close to what cable is (which in SoCal is about $70-$100). So... these people are in such dire circumstances that they are not able to afford housing on their own. Because of this the government steps in and helps to the tune of 50% (and sometimes more), but they have enough free cash flow to pay for extra TV channels?

That doesn't sit well with me. Here is why:

• the government only has that money to subsidize because they took it from someone else.
• if you are in need of charity, than you should have exhausted your own resources first.
• Cable/Satellite is a luxury, not a need. So are cell phones, computers, Internet, etc.

I am not saying that these people aren't in need. I am simply perplexed that the government doesn't have any rules in place to restrict frivolous spending. California might be able to close that budget deficit by a fair margin if it applies a few common sense rules... but who am I kidding? The government (Federal and State) does not have common sense. If they did, they would understand that you can't spend what you don't have. There is NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH. Everything has its cost. Shoot we don't even want to think about how much interest we are paying for our current deficit. It is ridiculous... I am going to go cry in the corner for a little while. Someone come get me when they decide to reimburse the tax payers for everyone's cable/satellite.

Entitlements

I have been thinking quite a bit about the younger generation, my generation, and those old people that think so poorly of us. While this has been on my mind for a few weeks, and in no small way influenced by this post by The Big Bags, the catalyst is really a cranky old lady that said all the people that are under 30 are "rude, arrogant little S#!@s." This was said to me while I waited for my flight out of Austin on Sunday night. That statement bothered me.

Here is the thing. Yes, we have a feeling of entitlement. Yes, the generation that is even younger than mine feels even more entitled. Can this be a detriment? sure, but not always. Even the older generation feels entitled (they all feel entitled to respect that they don't always deserve, among other things). I mean, really, if we are rude it is because our parents didn't teach us better manners. I happen to know that my mother would STILL slap me if I didn't offer to help someone (anyone, of any age), or if I was rude to an older person. Probably even if I was rude to someone that was rude to me first. Most of my friends of my age are the same. So what 30-year-old pissed her off so much? Turns out, according to her, I am just like her grandson. Well, if her grandson didn't turn out the way she wanted, I would say part of that is her fault. But if her grandson really is like me, then she needs to calm down. Being sixty DOESN'T entitle you to skipping an entire airport line, just because. If you want to get through the line faster, then get a walker or a wheelchair. As long as you can perambulate on your own, then you can be an adult and wait in line like the rest of us. None of us want to wait in line, it is an airport after all.

And as a little note to these type of older people, I work really hard for what I have. I am not entitled to what I have, I have EARNED it.

A few things to get used to...

Well we came back from Texas. Generally we loved it. We met some of the best people ever that will be in the MBA program with me. Great family and they will be our neighbors as well. Beautiful country, the air is so clean compared to LA, and the prices of everything compared to SoCal is just... awesome.

But I will have to get used to the following things.

• people really do use "y'all" and "howdy" multiple times in every conversation
• Not only do people buy "bedazzlers" but they use them... ugh!
• There is a 2:1 ratio of Trucks (with a capital "T" to denote how freaking big they are) to cars
• They only seem to drink coffee or ice tea
  

But these things are definitely overshadowed by the awesomeness of:

• no State Income tax
  
• Mutton busting (which I think Hudson will be doing)
  
• no traffic
• great ward
• I can get a pair of cowboy boots and wont stand out
• Tex-Mex
  

What are you talking about GB?

Some one please help me. Why is this even an issue? The US census is part of the Constitution. It has been around since freaking 1790. Bachmann is a retard and I am questioning the intelligence of the people who voted her into office. She doesn't want *further* government intrusion? This is not further at all, the Patriot act was intrusive, but this is just par for the last 2 centuries or so.

To answer some of the questions that were posed:

Yes, the government needs to know how many people are in an area in order to determine not only Federal funding allocations, but also how many seats will be in the House of Representatives (they also use this data to determine the size and area of these districts).

No, they didn't include the question about legal residency because those that are not legal wont actually fill it out and return it. So I suppose this isn't the perfect time to find out how many illegal aliens are in the country.

No Glenn, don't be completely asinine, they can't use this information to take away your gun permit. The information in the census is information that you have already provided in order to legally own a firearm. This means that they already know who you are and where you live if you have a permit to own. Now... if you don't have the gun legally, that is different. But I still don't see how they could know that you have the illegal weapon from the questions in the survey, so they STILL can't use the census as a "loophole" to take away the gun.

Instead of trying to stir up trouble over something that has been done for centuries and has done little to no harm, try actually reporting the freaking news. I know that GB is an "opinion" show, can you have some logic in there somewhere? I mean, how did Glenn make the "logic leap" from "there are 3 people that live in this home" to "the government will take my gun"?

Each day I lose more faith in not only our politicians (there wasn't much to begin with) but our media are only a bunch of attention whores. They don't actually care about reporting anything worthwhile, only about what will get other brain dead people to watch. 5 minutes of thought would let you know that the census is FINE. Please for the love of all that is right in this world, fill out the census. If you choose not to, that is fine as well, so long as you have a logical reason for choosing not to. "I am lazy" works better than, "they will take my gun" or "they will know where I live."

Just a note.

I saw the psycho actually going through the trash can today and collecting something that a lady had just thrown away. It is times like this that I am legitimately concerned for the safety of people in Southern California. I mean, this guy is still allowed to take public transit and creep people (mostly women) out, even after he has had the LA county Sheriff's speak to him about this type of behavior. So, our law enforcement can't do anything about this type of behavior... but we have people in prison for 30+ years on a marijuana possession charge. Seems like we have priorities in order.

More Geniuses like this.

I work with a guy named Robert. He is a genius. I know that he must be, because he knows everything. I am not being facetious at all, either. This guy is like freaking Nikola Tesla! He does complicated math in his head, WHILE discussing the fundamental differences between an Internal Rate of Return (of an investment) and a Time Weighted Return (or other such insane feats of genius).

But I am not bringing this up because he is ridiculously intelligent. I bring it up, because he is also the nicest, most balanced guy I have ever met. Most people that I have met that are this smart, are just freaking strange, socially inept, mentally challenged in some other way. Not Robert, This dude has held conversations with me about everything from Comic books to the European Champions League (soccer) to Finance/economics. He has a pretty wife (who is also really nice) and they are thinking of having their first kid.

So why aren't there more smart people like Robert?

and one more thing...

There is a reason that The Green Lantern Corps is afraid of The Batman.

Oh My EPIC.

This is why Batman will always win! Bet you didn't know he was a Jedi...

as a follow up.

previously I mentioned that my Xbox 360 broke. This is a follow up, to point out why the Japanese sell more cars and electronics than America does. Cause it still works.

Wow...maybe they DO get it.

Awesomeness in all its forms is welcomed here.

10 year High School reunion

Yup, it is that time. I am getting old at an alarming rate! I can't seem to decide if I should attend my 10 year HS reunion. Is it worth it? Have I accomplished enough? Do I really want my wife to see these people that I once knew? What about my ex's and old flames? I wonder if they are still attractive? or did they 'get old' like me? Not to mention, I had a HUGE graduating class... I doubt many people would remember me from back in the day...

What do the interwebs think I should do?

Tempting fate?

This goes beyond tempting fate. At this point I believe I am spitting in the devil's eye, laughing in the face of Death, poking a sleeping bear. Or... I am just not scared by it anymore; I have pissed off the psycho on the train for another time!

I was preparing my stuff to get up and leave the train as we pulled into LA Union Station... and there he was. Making some women very uncomfortable. Ignoring their pleas to "just leave."

At this point I have lost all pretenses at being politic.

I simply call across the train car. "hey... yes you. What is your damage? I ask again, because you never answered last time I asked you if you were dropped as a child. You don't seem to comprehend that when you STAY after someone asks you politely to leave, it just makes everyone but you feel awkward. The nice lady asked you to leave. It can be hard when you have an IQ of less than 30, but try to understand..."

At that point I stopped because he had left the train car and couldn't hear me anymore. The women thanked me, and I told them to tell the conductor next time, because he knows about the psycho and will help.

I hate to think what that man does when I am not around... what a freak...

My new personal Circuit Judge

I was riding the train home on Friday early, because I had a doctor appointment. I don't usually get to ride this train, and now I wish I did.

I sat across from a California Circuit Judge, who was chatting me up. We talked about what I am doing, where I am going, why I am choosing to attend one school (Texas A&M) over his Alma Mater (USC), how my family is, etc. etc.

Then he gave me some advice and his business card. He said: "The most important things to know about life are these: It will never be about what you know, it will always be about who you know. That being said, you can't choose what cards life deals you, but if you play them right they will always be enough."

Then he handed me the card and said, "now you know me," and implied that if I needed something...

So for my friends that are all about networking - you have the right idea. The more people you know, the more cards you have!

Let me know if any of you need something! Maybe I can return the favor...

This is epic and belongs here.

This is a re-post from Jeffs Gameblog. But it sounds just like conversations that my wife and I have about dressing Hudson up as Batman. Below is the conversation that Jeff had with his wife, I believe that his daughter needs to meet my son.

actual conversation, moments ago

Me: Is Elizabeth [our daughter] dressed?

My wife: Yes, but I'm getting her a different pair of pants.

Me: What's wrong with the pants I got her?

My wife: Nothing. It's just that they're purple and don't go with the green shirt.

Me: Green and purple always go together in the comics.

My wife: Yes, but our daughter isn't the Joker.

Going to have to learn all about the 12th man.

So the long awaited decision must be made.

Should we move to Pasadena and attend the University of Southern California? Become Trojans and incur a debt of close to $200k just for an MBA degree. While working full-time and trying to keep the wife happy (the same wife that feels that I work too much already). Tough to deal with... but it is USC.

OR...

Should we move to Texas and attend A&M? Become Aggies and deal with the weather (hot... very hot). They have offered a scholarship as well as in-State tuition... it is possible that I could end up with only $6-10k of debt. Would only be attending school and could spend all kinds of time with my wife and child. Possibly have the time to dedicate to school and graduate with honors...

Is this really a dilemma?

I think that all the time.

People often tell me when they do dumb things, that they think they must be dumb... I think that too.

also epic

I just keep finding these. It is funny... and maybe a bit offensive all in one.

Doesn't that go without saying?

President Obama told Diane Sawyer, that he will continue to pursue an "aggressive agenda" because he would "rather be a good one-term President, than a mediocre two-term President."

Yeah, that should go without saying. I sincerely doubt anyone that has the ambition to become the President of the United States, sits down in the Oval office and goes, "now how do I do a 'so-so' job?" I mean really, NO ONE with any drive at all seeks to do a poor job. I am a rather pessimistic person, and even I will give a person the benefit of the doubt. If they do a poor job, it wasn't because they WANTED to. When it comes to President of the U.S. I think that the term "good" isn't determined by the President anyway. Mostly the Media I would think. And lets not kid ourselves, the media loves President Obama. They have their noses so far... anyway...

I guess, what I am saying is, I am glad that you want to be a good President, Mr. Obama. Because I would hate to see what you could/would do if you wanted to be a crappy one... (though in reality, only the future will decide which you were).

poor choice of words.

"There is only one guarantee — that if we don't pass something the notion of trying to put Humpty Dumpty together again is a real long shot," said Rep. Patrick Kennedy, D-R.I., son of Edward Kennedy. "It's a lot easier to pass something and fix it later."

Did Mr. Kennedy realize that using Humpty Dumpty - the big egg that fell off the wall and couldn't be FIXED - as an example, was a poor choice if the next sentence out of your mouth is "[i]t's a lot easier to pass something and fix it later."? Cause the moral of Humpty is that once something is broken or wrong, it CAN'T be fixed. That is the reason you should have a GOOD, COMPLETE, and SOUND piece of legislation to begin with.

I would argue that statement by Mr. Kennedy sums up almost all that is wrong with our political leaders right now.

Our grandparents had it right all along.

"Anything worth doing, is worth doing right." And "if you go right at first, it is easier to go right all along."

Given the title of this blog...

How can I resist this?

That is one of the best comics I have seen in awhile. It perfectly explains why Batman is so much better than Superman.

Brabus Smart car

Isn't the point of a Smart car that they are economical and Gas efficient?

So, buying a Smart car that is made fast by Brabus would negate that wouldn't it?

I have seen more than a few of these in Orange County...

Only a few of my friends will find this as funny as I do.

This is for Nate and Megs.

Muppets rule

I will leave now...

A drunken man was making a nuisance of himself on the train. So much so that a transit cop was called and had to ask him to exit the train. This is the conversation.

Officer: Sir, could you please exit the train with me?

Drunken man: I would rather ride the train, I am a bit drunk.

O: yes sir, that is why I would like you to come with me.

DM: but... I would like to ride the train, come on and ride the train (while attempting to sing that last bit).

O: Sir, this is the last-

DM: (Standing up) I don't want to leave the train, I have a seat right here! Don't you see the seat? Why should I have to leave? I have a ticket!

O: Really? May I see your ticket?

DM: um... Of course!

At this point, DM opens his fly and proceeds to urinate all over himself and the seat he was on. He is still pissing everywhere as the officer grabs him and pulls him from the train. The look in the officers eyes said it all...

I would avoid car number 712 for the next few weeks at least~!

Happy New Year!