I may have a death wish

It has taken me two days to decide whether or not to post this. On one hand, some people that know of the situation have pointed out that I may have taken a risk to my safety (and they are probably correct). On the other hand, it was pretty funny and humor almost always win.

Here is the set-up.

I wander onto the later train to go home. It has been a long day and I am tired. I pull out my book and begin to read. There are two older ladies across from me who are both reading as well. Then the psycho sits down next to me (yes, the same freak show that stalked the poor girl a few months ago). I can feel the animosity coming off of him in waves, I swear - I am fairly certain he still wants me dead. I keep my cool and keep reading.

Freak show (to the ladies): "Is this the late night book reading club? I didn't know I was supposed to have a book. What are you reading?"

One lady ignores him (good for her) and the other, gives a muffled answer and shows the cover of her book.

Freak show: "yeah, is it good? I don't usually read those kind of books. I prefer periodicals... like adult periodicals... you know?"

The lady that sort of answered looks at him briefly with a strange look, then chooses to ignore him.

Freak show: "um... cause they are more stimulating that your book. Right?"

This time, I already know that he wont stop if they ignore him. I have seen him at this before. So before he can start to speak again, I start talking. I pretend that he isn't there and that I am only speaking to those two ladies.

Me: "I have found as a young man, that there are certain people that you can observe in society that just don't quite catch on to social cues. Especially from the opposite sex. Ultimately, I think it is a cautionary tale to us younger guys. We can say to ourselves, 'NEVER be like that guy.' Have you ladies ever met someone like that?"

I am proud to say that this was delivered completely dead pan. Not even my ever-present smirk was shown. I almost sounded philosophical. The two women tried to hide their laughter, but failed. The look on his face was priceless. It was worth the death-stare that he gave me for the rest of the ride.