Thursday, December 24, 2009

So can we stop calling us the "little guys"?

The Utah vs. Cal game was GREAT. I was really happy to watch my team win. Decisively. Only one thing is bothering me...

The ESPN announcers kept calling the Mountain West teams "the little guys." Even though Wyoming won their bowl game, BYU straight MONKEY-STOMPED the Beavers in the Vegas bowl, and the Utah win last night was VERY dominant. I am also fairly confident that Air Force will win their game, and I would place money on TCU winning the Fiesta bowl. Last year, they said the same things about the Mountain West, and how Alabama was going to destroy us... and we know how that ended.

Hey BCS lovers, if your teams are so much better than ours, how come you have been getting your butts handed to you from just about ALL of the "little guys"? Why are you afraid to play Boise (I know they are WAC, but it is the same argument) or TCU?

Better luck next year with some of our teams rebuilding... Except I bet the rebuilding BYU will still thump the BCS teams.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

As a follow up to the BigBags

The Bags is an inspiration.

His Christmas present has been delivered. We were able to donate almost $2,000 for the education center of the Los Angeles Mission. The money will be put to use immediately to purchase computers to help the less fortunate obtain their GEDs and High School Diploma's.

Merry Christmas to all! and to all a good night!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

ruminating on Batman

So, I was thinking about Batman this morning. Not sure why... well I know WHY (I am a total nerd), but I am not sure why I was thinking of him in this regard.

I have had politics on my mind of late (probably cause they effed with my bonus) and was thinking about the Fed and what it does, what its purpose is, and how it has affected the current economic reality. Somehow in this thought process I started to think that the REASON (among others) that I like Batman so much more than Superman is that Batman has to deal with his problems with whatever he has available to him. While Superman can always do something impossible. There is a certain amount of pride that can be garnered from doing something from good hard work. Batman has to work for his accomplishments. Superman is just super, cause he was born that way, cause he is special, just because. That just... irritates me.

Our Congress (and entire government) doesn't actually see where the money comes from, they are happy that the money is just always there. It is always available to do any project that they want... They treat the federal balance sheet like a college kid on spring break with his parents credit card. There is nothing that they can't buy! They are Supermen/women! But eventually, reality will come creeping back in and ruin their party.

I just hope enough of them are sober enough to listen to constituents, because it might be one horrid hangover. The recent polls are telling. We don't like what Obama is doing, what the Senate is doing, what Congress is doing. This is not along party lines... we (the people) don't like the government right now. It now appears - according to the WSJ - that the greater majority of people do NOT trust the government to do the right thing most of the time. As in, we think they are crooks.

A bit of a ramble...

Friday, December 18, 2009

When is breaking the law, not breaking the law?

When you are the Federal Government.

Yesterday the national debt, as reported by the Treasury, reached $12.13 trillion. Rest assured, it’s even higher by now. The official debt ceiling — a rule of law which the government must obey, lest it render all other laws illegitimate — currently does not allow the national debt to exceed $12.10 trillion. Viva la revolucion! The government is breaking the law!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Public Service Announcement

Wearing sunglasses at night only makes you look like a douche.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

I may have a death wish

It has taken me two days to decide whether or not to post this. On one hand, some people that know of the situation have pointed out that I may have taken a risk to my safety (and they are probably correct). On the other hand, it was pretty funny and humor almost always win.

Here is the set-up.

I wander onto the later train to go home. It has been a long day and I am tired. I pull out my book and begin to read. There are two older ladies across from me who are both reading as well. Then the psycho sits down next to me (yes, the same freak show that stalked the poor girl a few months ago). I can feel the animosity coming off of him in waves, I swear - I am fairly certain he still wants me dead. I keep my cool and keep reading.

Freak show (to the ladies): "Is this the late night book reading club? I didn't know I was supposed to have a book. What are you reading?"

One lady ignores him (good for her) and the other, gives a muffled answer and shows the cover of her book.

Freak show: "yeah, is it good? I don't usually read those kind of books. I prefer periodicals... like adult periodicals... you know?"

The lady that sort of answered looks at him briefly with a strange look, then chooses to ignore him.

Freak show: "um... cause they are more stimulating that your book. Right?"

This time, I already know that he wont stop if they ignore him. I have seen him at this before. So before he can start to speak again, I start talking. I pretend that he isn't there and that I am only speaking to those two ladies.

Me: "I have found as a young man, that there are certain people that you can observe in society that just don't quite catch on to social cues. Especially from the opposite sex. Ultimately, I think it is a cautionary tale to us younger guys. We can say to ourselves, 'NEVER be like that guy.' Have you ladies ever met someone like that?"

I am proud to say that this was delivered completely dead pan. Not even my ever-present smirk was shown. I almost sounded philosophical. The two women tried to hide their laughter, but failed. The look on his face was priceless. It was worth the death-stare that he gave me for the rest of the ride.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Red ring of death...


It is very unfortunate. My xbox 360 gave up the ghost. I am not happy about it at all.

fin.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Street Smarts vs. Book Smarts

"I am not book smart, but I am street smart." I hate this saying... mostly because I am a cynic and only hear: "I am not book smart, but I am not smart." Yes, I know that many people disagree with that... I don't care, unless you can give me an example of "street smart" that does not use Common Sense, Social Awareness/Aptitude, or Emotional cognizance as an example of "street smarts." I mean, what is "street smart" anyway? The ability to live on the street, if you needed to? If that is the case, then I would have to argue that many "book smart" people also possess this ability.

Fun "fact"*

The real definition of Street Smarts is rarely, if ever actually applicable to those that claim to have it. The term comes from Wall Street (often called 'the street' in NYC), during the Gilded Age. Back when Andrew Carnegie and John Rockefeller ruled the financial world. It was meant to describe those people that traded on Wall Street that were not Ivy League educated, but knew 'the street' in such a way that they still made money. Hence, "street smart." But this would mean, that they were still really rather bright and could understand how to analyze a security properly to determine its real/fair value. It also means they probably had at least a fair-to-middling ability at mathematics. So really, if you aren't "book smart" (educated) but you are ACTUALLY smart and have learned a trade/skill, then I will leave you alone about saying that. But if you use that line as an excuse for why you hate math or don't succeed in school... then you are not "street smart" either. In both cases (book and street) it implies the ability to learn when given the opportunity. So if you are "street smart" then you can become "book smart."

okay... I am done. Let the hate filled argument commence!

* I am not sure how factual it really is, there was very little vetting on my part. It sounds legitimate...

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Freudian Slips that reveal the truth

This is an actual conversation that a friend and I had on Google Chat.

me: well maybe you should.
you are going to have to be our sales man
cause i am way to abrasive to do it. lol.

Eric: Jahangir you were a missionary same thing
That was hahaha at the first

me: ahahah. dude. was that a Freudian slip?
do you know what Jahangir means in Persian?

This was possibly the greatest Freudian slip ever. I think deep down he knows that it will be my title in the history books. MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (appropriately evil laugh).



Wednesday, November 4, 2009

always yield to the train.

The train ahead of mine hit a car today, delaying us by over 3 hours. But more importantly, I want to stress that cars ALWAYS yield to trains. Period. No exceptions. I believe that this rule was established on physics, though I would imagine most would think common sense would dictate this adamant rule. Unfortunately, "common sense" is far from common.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Don't write checks you can't cash

I think it is sound financial advice not to write a check that will bounce. I also think it is sound advice when the topic is "words coming out of your mouth." Case in point, this story.

I had to run to the train (nothing new), so I missed the build up to the "fight." I bet it was good too... as I jumped onto the train through the closing doors I was confronted with this scene... right out of a movie... well, at least the dialogue was.

Middle age white guy, staring creepily at a girl of... maybe 16? then the girls boyfriend stands up and says, "you scheming on my girl?" (seriously, I wasn't joking about the dialogue).

White guy, "what you gonna do about it?"

Boyfriend - lots of expletives that amounted to "I will introduce you to my fist."

(ready for the best part?)

White guy, "There are people in this world you don't want to mess with, I am one of them."

Right after he says this, the teenage boy pops him right in the jaw and he goes down like a chump. Then the train stops at Union Station, and everyone files out past the guy on the ground.

This episode taught me that I love LA for a few reasons. 1) They speak in Movie dialogue as though it is natural. 2) 90% percent of the people here have totally over inflated egos (so much so, that they can say "I am one of them" with a straight face). And 3) not a single person thought to check on the moron, they all just walked over and around him to get to where they were going, it was just business as usual.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Treasure Trove

Hi everybody!

October has been a nightmare for me. I suppose that is fitting... nightmare... Halloween... ah, never mind....

Anyway, I have lots of stories that I have been saving up. Like this little ditty...

Walking to the Subway last Thursday I observed a homeless man peeing on all of the parked cars along the street. Yeah, he was just hanging out in the open, walking down the street, while peeing on all the cars. The best part is that there was one of "LA's Finest" watching this... and doing nothing. yeah... no reprimand, no citation, nada... So apparently it is socially and legally acceptable to urinate on other peoples property.

Sweet, I will just tuck that away in the back of my brain for future use.

I will try to post the rest of the stories soon. Until then...

"Have fun Storming (peeing on) the castle!"

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Superpowers!

So a friend asked a simple question: what superpower WOULDN'T you want?

Answer: telepathy. Why? because I know all the horrible stuff that I think, and I don't want to know what crappy things other people are thinking. I am a pessimist already, I don't need any more reason to dislike people. Plus, what if you "heard" some serial killer or child molester thoughts? ick!

But that got me thinking about the coolest superpower that you can have. Teleportation. huh? That wasn't what you were thinking? That is how we know you don't have telepathy...

So, anyway... teleportation would let you go anywhere you wanted in a nano-second! (maybe faster!) ANYWHERE. I mean, how awesome would that be? you wouldn't need to use cars, or planes (you will still ride motorcycles and roller coasters, because they are awesome too).

Now this leads to my next thought (I have to break it down so ya'll can follow my train of thought), which is that teleportation has gotta be possible. (Those that aren't religiously inclined may choose to ignore this part, but if you do, you miss out on some of my "logic") God manages to appear and disappear in split seconds. How can He do that if not be teleporting? So, if we assume that He created everything (which I do), therefore He created the rules upon which all physics are tied. We assume that He is perfect and a perfect being must follow the rules that have been created. This means that if we understand the rules of particle and quantum physics, and figure out the maximum velocity of self propulsion (so that we don't disintegrate), we should be able to teleport as well! YES!

so... who is good at physics? anybody?

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Good news.

My car was still there when I returned last night. Looking no worse for the 14 hour stay in Santa Ana.

Of course, if I am honest, I was a little more concerned that I would be missing wheels and it would be on cinder blocks...

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

you are not my father.

So I had to run for the train again this morning. I am exhausted from helping Kel with her test until the wee hours, and I slept through the alarm.

As a result, I was cutting it close and had to run for the train. Now, last time I had to do this, a man (whom I will now call DB for "Douche Bag") castigated me about crossing the tracks while the gates are starting to go down, as though he is either a police officer or my father. He is neither, but I had decided that I would attempt to be better (you should all be so proud!) and because of that, I chose to park on the other side of the tracks. This enabled me to make the train AND not cross the tracks with the gates down. Now before anyone asks why I never parked over there to begin with, let me say that the other side of the tracks, is 4Rilz the other side of the tracks! I catch the train in Santa Ana, which as far as I can tell, is the Orange County equivalent of Compton. So... I usually try to park in the monitored, patrolled, fenced in parking lot. But I didn't today... I am risking my car, to be true to my word!

...and do you know what DB said to me? He assumed when he saw me running that I had crossed the tracks and called me a liar! He said, "you aren't very good at obeying the law, or 'doing better' are you?" Pisses me off...

Friday, September 11, 2009

She sat on me...

You read that title correctly. I was sat on by a large, corpulent woman. She would have been refused a seat on an airplane. Seriously. But that didn't stop her from giving no warning and sitting "next" to me on the bus this morning.

My personal space issues aside, this was a 90 degree southern California morning. Her folds enveloped the right side of my body from shoulder to knee, like a thick blanket. *shiver*

Even worse, I know that she couldn't reach all parts of herself when bathing, because of the strange mixture of B.O. and deodorant. The entire 10 minute ride I could feel my gag reflex tickling the back of my throat.

But the straw that broke my proverbial back is this: when I attempted to squeeze myself closer to the window, she gave me an offended "how dare you" look, and huffed "how rude..." I couldn't take it, I just couldn't.

I responded, "Ma'am, you are excused for sitting on me. I know that it must be difficult for you to ride on public transportation, seeing as it is designed to accommodate people of only semi-rotund girth, and you quite obviously exceed that size. You are not however, excused for claiming that I am rude, when I am only seeking to extricate myself from beneath you. I am sure you are very aware of your situation and should know that it is a discourtesy to sit on a person without warning or apology."

My tone was... 'strained politeness' might be a slight exaggeration, but it was close. She gave me a look that said she would murder me and all my family if she could and then stared straight ahead the remainder of the ride.

All this took place while she sat on me. Goo.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

back to misused/overly used words.

"Crisis" is a word that should be used in its proper time and place. Hurricane Katrina=Crisis, complete financial meltdown of Lehman bros.=Crisis, the current "state" of health-care in the US= troubling, but NOT a crisis.

This is not to say that we couldn't improve the system. I am simply trying to help people see that it isn't a crisis at this point. We don't have catastrophic casualties, and while costs are mounting, when they are seen with inflation they aren't "spiraling out of control." Frankly, if you want to improve the health system and lower your costs, just be healthier. Stop eating fast food, and get some exercise for crying out! Those two things alone could probably save you countless dollars...

If you want some more tips, just ask anyone other than a politician.

Monday, August 31, 2009

no more "one-uppers"

"So you are tired? you have a broken finger? you got a ticket today? you were late waking up? your dog died? well, I only got 2 hours of sleep, have a broken leg and a broken back, got TWO tickets and my license revoked, missed the train because my alarm didn't go off, and all of my pets died this morning."

Whenever I mention that I am any of those things or countless other maladies, there is inevitably some douche bag that has to "one-up" my complaint. I assume in an effort to comfort me. But, how does your complaint make me feel better? When my wife says she doesn't feel well, I respond with words of comfort and see if there is something I can do to help. Not tell her why I am feeling much worse.

Where did people get the stupid idea that a person shares a discomfort so that you can perform a "one-up"? It was shared because they are looking for you to remedy or at the very least comfort said issue.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The difference is?

This morning I was starving, so I decided to spring for a breakfast burrito at a local place here in Down Town LA. When I asked for a breakfast burrito, the man stared at me blankly for a few minutes than said, "we don't have burritos." I pointed to one and said, "what is that then?" "a wrap, would you like a wrap?"

This is where I had to pause. "what is the difference?" I finally asked.

His answer, "one is a wrap and the other is a burrito."

Friggin' idiot...

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Just GO!

Escalators were invented to speed up the flow of pedestrian traffic within high congestion areas, such as a mall. This is why the speed of an escalator is FASTER than the average person can go up a flight of stairs. On top of this, they are typically made wide enough that you can stand to one side and let others pass (unless you have one of the FREAKING irritating wheeled bags).

This means that escalators were not made to let your lazy butt sit there and impede the flow of traffic. You are effectively creating a bottleneck. Stop it. You are useless to our society. I know this, because you can't even walk up the escalator. A device that limits the number of steps you ACTUALLY have to use to get up to the next level of the building (attempting to improve efficiency). I know this, because without fail, you will be using a rolling bag (another device meant to improve efficiency), probably because you are too lazy to carry the briefcase yourself. I can make the statement that you don't contribute to our society in any meaningful way, because these two things show that you are so lackadaisical that you couldn't possibly perform any task assigned to you in an efficient manner.

I find my ire rising whenever I see your slow perambulations.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Natural consequence teaches better

Those that read this blog know that I am a Green person (when it is semi-convenient) and ride the train to LA from the OC every day for work. This gives me the opportunity to meet interesting, and sometimes scary people (think Sociopath). One of the interesting people, is a man that is closing in on retirement. He is one of the more cantankerous people I have ever met. He often feels that it is his job to monitor the behavior of all other train riders and correct their actions. An example is the young man that he called the Sheriff's office on, because he was riding his bike on the train platform. While not safe to ride his bike there, it is far more dangerous to him, than it is to anyone else. Or the example that inspires this post: he told me that I should not break the law...

I wasn't sure what he was referring to, so asked him to explain. He then in a rather patronizing way explained that he saw me cross the tracks when the gates were coming down, and that if I am an honest person I shouldn't do that because that is breaking the law. I opened my mouth to respond in a less than respectful manner... and stopped. He is right, in the strictest sense. So, instead I simply said: "you are right, I will work on that."

But this little incident brings up a point that has been rubbing me raw for awhile now. Why do we have these stupid laws? I can't cross the tracks when the gate is down? I think that should be up to me, because I saw the warning sign. I understand the risk. I am not taking anyone with me (meaning I am endangering only myself). I look both ways, assess the probability of injury or death, and make a choice. I obviously wasn't hit by a train.

I think it is good that we have signs. It is good to warn people that there is danger. But that is all we should be responsible for. Warning them. They are then responsible for what they choose to do. If I were to be hit by the train, then we would have to say, that I was foolish. Not that Metrolink is to blame, or the city, or the county. They did what they were supposed to do. They called attention to the danger.

The point of this barely intelligible rant is this: Natural consequences teach us better than a citation, or something of that sort. It would increase personal responsibility among society; something we need more of! More importantly, it would cull the stupid from the herd of humanity, which is never a bad thing.

Why people should get out of the market

I think it would be safe to say that I have been a negative person my whole life. Some people would say that I come by it rightly, those are the people who have met my father. But this life long pessimism is not why I think the market will drop even more in the 3rd and 4th quarter of this year. The following 10 reasons are why I am a Realist.

1. The Sub-Prime mess is still being dealt with, and the Alt-A and ARM mortgage mess is going to hit in a huge ugly wave of foreclosure in the next 6-12 months. (We could go on about this for awhile...)

2. Bond Default rates are very high, and are continuing to rise. (Defaulted bonds are the corporate way of saying I can't pay my mortgage).

3. The governments of almost every country are supporting poor fiscal responsibility and encouraging lazy people to continue in laziness (this doesn't stimulate an economy no matter what any politician says).

4. The fall season has historically (I know, I know, the past doesn't dictate the future) been the worst time for the Stock Market. Just about every recession we have ever had started in October or November, including this one.

5. The Short Sellers have covered their positions and shown less interest throughout July. This is a sign that the upward movement is uncalled for and will begin to falter.

6. Insiders for companies are selling their shares in droves, to the tune of 6 to 1 (seller to buyer). If the people that run the companies can see what is going on better than we can... then what do we see here?

7. While company profits have looked good this last quarter, this is largely due to cost cutting, not increased revenue. There is only so much you can cut... what will they cut next quarter?

8. Consumer Savings is going up (this isn't bad, it just means that people aren't spending, thus not 'stimulating' the economy).

9. Un-employment is still high. And if one were to do a little math on their own, you would find that the reported drop of 0.1% (down to 9.4%) was reported poorly by the media. The real unemployment rate is closer to 9.8% (a rise of 0.3%). This number also doesn't take into account the large number of underemployed people (people that have lost their job, but are currently working fewer hours or at less pay).

10. The Dollar is weakening, the Deficit is soaring, and Politicians think this is a good time to present a Health care overhaul that will increase the Deficit further, which will weaken the dollar more...

These things do not bode well for our financial future...

Monday, August 10, 2009

looking for a vacation

I am so tired. I want a vacation so badly. It isn't sleep that I want, I want to not have to worry about my next deadline. Procrastination is going to rear its head soon...

But there is hope for this intrepid banker! For I will return to the land of my education in less than 2 weeks. Therefore, College friends, family lend me your ears! ;) I am coming home... Momma, I'm coming home...

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

hijacked words

i will be very brief. I am more than slightly irritated by the overuse of certain words when politicians discuss profit. whether discussing Investment banks or Health Insurers, Ms. Pelosi is always calling the profits "obscene" or "immoral" (or both). Just because those words draw attention does not make them accurate. there is NOTHING inherently immoral or obscene about making a profit if you run a company. on top of that, when dealing with Health Care, people really ought to think before they speak. First, despite the problems with our health care system, America is STILL the pinnacle of medical care and treatment. there is no other place on the entire planet that you can receive BETTER care than here. Second, it is NOT the governments job to provide health care. period. if you want health care, go out and get it just like everyone else does you freaking slackers! there are no free lunches, even when people claim there are! suck it up and realize that someone is paying for it. and contrary to your lazy ass opinion, it is NOT a fair share to have someone else pay for it, just cause they can. what is your fair share? what have you contributed? If i bake a pie and use all my own time and ingredients that i purchased, what is your fair share of that pie? ZERO. you don't get any of my pie unless i SAY you do. if you want some of my pie, you can help make it. if you don't help, then SHOVE OFF, you lazy, sack of useless crap, thief.

ok. done.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Words without actions are worth what?

President Obama is awesome as a public speaker. There is no denying that he possesses eloquence in excess. However, for awhile now I have felt that our Commander in Chief is missing something very important. Follow-through. All his pretty speeches are just that, pretty. His rhetoric is spectacular! But I want more than good ideas from a leader, I want action. I want an outcome.

Here is a short list of Obama's checklist.

Pretty speech about the economy? check. Any positive improvement (other than the media that spout crap anyway)? nada. Didn't get the change you were looking for? change the goal. (no one really strives for something when they don't succeed anyway, right? Why would we want a leader to be responsible for what they claim?) Talk to all the leaders of other countries, but don't have any actionable propositions. Done. Condemn Mahmoud (Iran) and let him think about his response until September. Good thought, except we are going to talk to him next week...

At this point President Obama, I don't have to agree with everything you say, but in order to be a good president... you will have to DO something more than give public speeches.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Why Los Angeles is awesome

a couple weeks ago I had my life threatened by a sociopath that must have been dropped on his head as a child. Today? I saw an honest to goodness hillbilly train driver (conductor?)! He was wearing that funny hat they always have in the movies, no shirt, overalls, and a red hand-kerchief in his back pocket! I mean how awesome is that? This is like seeing a real life pirate, or catching a glimpse of a ninja scaling a wall...

which reminds me of the Gymnast Midgets that I saw on Hope street (downtown LA) back in June.

This place has more diversity than anyone could EVER dream of!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Shivers up my spine...

Here comes another story from the train.

I was asked by a stranger to please sit next to her. This was a request, mind you, not a question. She asked, "if [I] would please sit next to [her]." She didn't even know who I was. I smiled politely and showed her my wedding ring. She responded with, "even better."

I just had to ask why she would want a married stranger to sit next to her? Her answer: cause there are some seriously creepy SOB's in this world. I was way too intrigued... I had to sit down.

Friends, this is how I learned that there are some people in this world where, it may have been better if they were never born. I like to think that I am a fairly open-minded person, who has a gift for discerning the light that is (supposedly) in all of us. That is why I stressed "may" earlier... but this man that I am about to tell you all about literally gave me shivers and I wanted to throw up, just from the feelings that I got from him.

She managed to tell me that there is a man that follows her from train car to train car, and that he doesn't catch any of the hints that she gives. That was all she could get out before some guy scared the Hell out of me, by putting his face between our seats from behind and says, "I thought that was you!" He then comes around to the other side of the seats and sits down across from us. I assumed (correctly) that this was our creep. Without telling you every painful detail, and they were painful, I will say this. The man is either socially inept with an utter disregard for personal space (you NEVER touch a woman's thigh like that... ever), or he is a sociopath that does not care whether the poor woman is uncomfortable. This poor lady, tried everything during the first 20 minutes of the ride. She ignored him, she asked him to please not touch her, she told him not to touch her, she said that she was very uncomfortable with his topic of conversation (tip to my single friends, don't talk about how a woman reminds you of a porn that you once saw, she WILL NOT find that flattering... ugh!), and lastly she looked at me with pleading eyes.

I know some of you are wondering why I let it go on for 20 minutes. The only thing I can say is. HE WAS FREAKING CREEPY! I was trying to figure out what was wrong with him. Seriously. I was thinking to myself that he must have been dropped as a child, or abandoned, or made fun of through High School. SOMETHING, must explain why he felt that was a good way to talk to a girl.

Sorry, I digress.

So when she looked to me for help, and there was no mistaking this look, I said to him: "you have made both of us very uncomfortable, please go to another car." I kid you not, he pretended like I hadn't even opened my mouth. Completely ignored me. This actually really bothered me, I hate to be so poignantly ignored. So before I could stop myself, I let something slip (my family knows about my Turrets). It wasn't the nicest thing, but it didn't include any profanity. He didn't ignore that, oh no, he looked at me and said, "...I have killed animals bigger than you." Then he SMILED at her, as though to disarm her.

It was at this point that I stood up, offered my hand to the damsel, and we left that train car. He tried to get up and follow, but I pushed him back into his seat, leaned close, and as calmly as I could, "I am not an injured animal that you chained in your garage, you psycho. If you follow us, I will break your face." Posturing over, I quickly escorted her to a different car.

When we arrived in LA, I walked her to the Sheriffs that were on the platform and told them the story. They said they would escort her to where she was going, and that one of them would go talk to the man (who was waiting about 30 yards away. *shiver*).

So everyone, if I happen to go missing... look for the fifty-odd year old that rides the Orange County line, that wears 80's style prescription glasses, and has a lumpy nose. If I saw in the paper that this guy had been kidnapping and killing people, I would not be surprised. He honest to goodness, scared the crap out of me. So creepy...

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Lemonade? what a load of crap.

recently i was told something that i am sure we all hear often. "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade." but, just think about how dumb that is... no, really, think about it.

lemonade is not just lemon juice. it has water and sugar as well... lots of it. water dilutes, and sugar sweetens. so when life gives us lemons (something bitter) how the crap are you supposed to make something sweet out of that, with out having... well, something sweet. and if you have something sweet, then you don't really have a bitter situation after all, do you?

i know... i am a hopeless Cynic.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Drunks pay taxes, why can't Stoners?

California's budget is $15 billion under water. In my opinion this is mostly because the state is run by economic airheads. I can say that because, all of the fiscally intelligent people are too busy making money to run for office. That is our loss. There is also the issue that more than 60% of the population receives some sort of aid from the state government. California is starting to see why socialism doesn't work. (as I have said before, eventually you will run out of other people's money).

but there is hope for the crappy budget. It comes in the guise of "moral corruption," also known as legalizing marijuana. I have to say that it is humorous, to say the least, that a State that throws a fit over same sex marriage (a TRULY moral topic), is struggling at all with this issue. The pot growers have VOLUNTEERED to be taxed, and have suggested "at least $1 billion" in tax revenue. (the money that is saved by not having to enforce lame laws will be close to $10 billion on the low end). I know that there will be people that think this is a horrible idea, but if it is legalized, you solve a budget deficit, make lots of people happy, and correct a logic problem all in one. I mean, we let people drink and smoke tobacco. Both of those are taxed at a higher rate, because they are viewed as bad for your health. How is Mary Jane any different?

If you don't like it, don't smoke it. You can still enjoy all your state benefits, while you abstain.

Monday, May 18, 2009

exhaustion

i think being an adult blows. who really wants to grow up? i seriously think that the only people that WANT to be older are moronic teenagers that don't understand how good they really have it.

as an adult, your weekend is full of more work. That is it. nothing else. you work all week, so that you can do all your errands on Saturday, so that you can do all of your church callings on Sunday, then start all over again on Monday.

being a grownup... sucks!

Friday, April 24, 2009

Redistribution of wealth? good luck with that...

i suppose the few people that read my blog may have gathered that i have had the economy on my mind lately. not surprising, i would guess most people in the world have that on their minds more often these days. but i have to address another issue that is irking me.

lots of people are looking forward to the current administration's attempt to 'right the wrong' that is the unfair distribution of wealth. I could point out that the majority (not all... we have Paris Hilton to consider... ick!) of those that are ultra wealthy, paid their dues and in my opinion deserve their HARD EARNED wealth. the lesson we should learn is that if we work as hard as they do we can be wealthy too.

but that is an aside. my real topic is this. IF you want to redistribute the wealth of this nation, putting greater regulation on the industry is counter productive. sounds strange? here let me explain my reasoning.

our current economy is marked by lots of "Delevering" and "Deglobalization," these are natural consequences to an over bloated market that was fed by the very government that is now attempting to "fix" it. these are good things because they are correcting the market naturally. the economy is also marked by lots of re-regulation and new regulation. this is not a natural consequence. this will create an "inefficient market" (which is actually the whole point of the regulation). instead of rewarding the smartest and hardest working person, you can force (through regulations) a "fair" price, etc. fairly simple to understand.

here is where i start to smile to myself (more of a smirk, really). the reason that many investment banks made a KILLING in Eastern European countries, India, China, Brazil, etc. is BECAUSE they are inefficient markets. i mean for crap sake, i work for a "alternative" investment bank that specializes in this! we are practically licking our chops waiting for this to happen here in the US. inefficiency is what creates the opportunities to make money. so even though you are trying to redistribute the wealth, who do you think is going to be capitalizing on these markets? I can assure you that it will be the wealthy and they are going to remain wealthy.

so my advice: stop with the jealous whining and stop waiting for government handouts. they aren't helping any of us.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

why raising Corporate taxes is a problem

here is the thing. if the economy is failing (which it is) how is the government going to save it?

the answer: it can't

the government gets its funding from two main sources: taxes and it prints its own.

if it just prints the money to cover the shortfall that we are seeing then we will have inflation, maybe even hyper-inflation. that is VERY bad. don't believe me? look at what Mugabe has done in Zimbabwe. we are already being threatened by high inflation rates. so Obama (or any government) can't do that to fix it...

that leaves taxes to collect all the necessary funds for the 'relief' programs (Social security, Welfare, Unemployment, TARP, Bailouts, etc). now here's the thing, individual citizens are suffering in the economy and are making less money, so you can't increase their taxes without causing more harm. so who can the government tax? Corporations, of course! i mean, they are greedy and make too much money anyway (sarcasm is present). i will admit that some corporations are greedy and corrupt, but the vast majority of them are not. most of them are trying to keep producing in a stagnant economy. so when you increase taxes on them, that cuts into the earnings and revenue and the company needs to compensate in some way. the company has two ways to do this (1) increase the sale price of their product, or (2) cut costs. in order to increase the sales price to compensate for the proposed tax increase, most companies would need to up the price between 10%-30%. They wouldn't be able to sell very much in a sinking economy by doing that, now would they? so that leaves them with cutting costs. guess what is the easiest and most efficient way to cut costs? get rid of employees. that is right, lay-offs.

so increasing the corporate tax will lead to more unemployment. which leads to further recession, etc. i believe the term we are looking for is 'a vicious spiral.'

so here is a suggestion for employers that i heard and I think it is good enough to propagate. if you are having trouble deciding which employees to let go. just go to the parking lot, and find the cars with 'Obama' stickers. after all, they did want change...

Monday, April 20, 2009

disconnected from reality

the current market is completely disconnected from reality. all last week, i stared at the market indices and wondered what was going on...

unemployment is STILL on the rise, so how is it good news that unemployment is ONLY at 10% on average across the country, just because the pundits THOUGHT that it would be closer to 11%? or the fact that Goldman Sachs, Citigroup, and JPMorgan reported black in their earnings for 1Q09? not hard to do when you change your fiscal accounting period so that you don't have to include December 2008, one of the WORST months in history (Goldman didn't have to report almost $7 Billion in losses with that stunt). Or writing more Credit Default Swaps (CDS) that are one of the risky assets that people are trying to get rid of (JPMorgan holds close to 50% of all of the worlds CDS's). the accounting gimmicks are running wild.

Further more, housing prices are still dropping, foreclosures are WAY up, and defaults are climbing. these are not good pieces of news. that is why i am RELIEVED that the market has lost everything that it gained last week. it just didn't make sense...

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Ron Paul and my taxes.

so, i have been reading a book by Ron Paul. i am really liking it. i think the reason i like it so much is that one, he makes sense. two, he isn't a douche bag that ignores things that he disagrees with (he addresses them instead, what a novelty for a politician!). Lastly, he explains the Constitution and uses it as the basis of all of his arguments, which is EXACTLY what all politicians should do.

one of the arguments that has been rolling around in my head for a day or two is that for income tax. Income tax is NOT Constitutional. I never thought about it, but he is right, it is just a form of slavery. we don't really have a choice in paying them or not. we must pay them or we go to prison. how is that any different from me going to my neighbor with a gun and demanding some of his/her income? or, is a slave really free if you allow him to vote, if he is still not able to keep that which he labored for? it is the same principle, and that is why it has really been irritating me. income taxes, conscription, and many other abuses of the Constitution that are perpetrated by our very own government... is it any wonder that i have been so jaded with politics? neither party really adheres to the very document that is supposed to serve as the divining rod for our great country.

much more thought will need to go into our next election process, cause i can't vote on party lines at all...

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Meds

i used to wonder why a person that suffered from depression or bi-polar disorder would ever go off of their meds. why would they choose to be irrational and violent? i know what people have said. that they want to feel the highs that come with it as well, and the meds keep them from feeling that as well. i used to shrug that off and think to myself, that there is no way that a sane person would make that choice.

therefore: i must be insane.

i am taking a new medication for my migraines. it is called Topamax. it is a daily pill that i take each morning and night. one of the side effects of this drug is that your cognitive functions are slowed and you will 'often forget words,' meaning i can give you the definition of the word i want to use, but can't think of the word itself. i have found that this is more frustrating than anything i have ever in my life experienced. it makes everything that i do, from work, to Church callings, to speaking with my wife, more difficult. and i HATE it. i hate it so much, that i would rather have a massive, pounding, nausea-inducing migraine than take this stupid crap-tastic drug. this is my official declaration, that i am going off the meds.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

the twisted form of Wolverines healing factor?

my beautiful wife is feeling unwell. this is a bad thing. i don't like being around unwell people. not because i am afraid of their small sickness, but because i seem to have developed some sort of exponential factor (or for those that don't speak nerd, an 'X-factor'). whatever they have, i will get to the 'nth' degree. ask Jesse, he will tell you. i don't get sick... i almost die. that is the way it works with me. i never have a cold, i get West Nile. i don't get the Flu, i get Ebola. i don't get headaches, i get incapacitating-coma-inducing-migraines from Hell.

so i am just curious, does this mean that i am a mutant? are all fictions based on small kernels of truth? was 'Unbreakable' telling the truth? who would have thought? maybe i am meant to be a super hero... or am i to be called 'mr. sick... they call me mr. sick.' LOLZ!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Obama says we aren't quiters.

I think he is wrong though. cause we have become a nation of whiners and french people. we are becoming more and more the European socialists that we used to mock and revile. we used to mock them because they still relied on a sense of 'monarchy' or 'class' that was supposed to help those that were less fortunate. those that couldn't do it themselves. those that had would provide for those that didn't. well after hundreds of years, we can see how well that has worked. America on the other hand, said 'eff that! give us your tired, your hungry, your poor. we will do it ourselves. we will be bankers, we will be steel barons, we will be presidents, we will be generals, we will be business leaders, scientists and scholars. we don't need an aristocratic class to tell us what to do or to help us.'

THAT is what made America great. that is why the rest of the world didn't and doesn't like us. because we pointed out that we don't need them. we are self sufficient. we are tough SOB's and can do whatever we want. we are capable. we are stalwart. when a European factory worker saw his boss drive off in the nice car he would say 'i want to bomb that car.' when the American worker see's it, he says: ' i am going to have a car like that some day.' at least that is what we used to be like... now we have huge bail outs, massive government debt and spending. (do you that read my blog realize that we spend $1.42 for every $1 of tax revenue brought in? we are increasing our deficit by 42% a year!) when did our beloved Democracy become a Socialist regime? but, you know... the problem with Socialism, is that eventually you run out of other peoples money.

Friday, February 20, 2009

monkeys and other animals

i love monkeys, actual monkeys, mind you, not necessarily chimps. but chimps are cool too. Gorillas are complete BAMFs. i love Pumas (which should be interpreted as Lions and Tigers and all 'Great Cats.' or even easier, any cat that is capable of severely incapacitating a large animal or human). i love Polar bears and Grizzly bears. one day in the Millennium (provided i live that long) i will wrestle with a Polar bear. they are so freaking awesome. lastly i love sharks. especially the ones that jump out of the water to eat seals. no one can say that isn't the most spectacular display of awesomeness in the aquatic animal kingdom. all these animals are amazing because they are very powerful and dominate their individual areas of the animal kingdom.

what was the point of that paragraph, you ask? it wandered, and was loosely written, you say? here is my point. they are all wild animals and shouldn't be bought or 'owned' ever. i think anyone that wants to attempt to domesticate them needs to accept the consequences that come with domesticating animals. dogs didn't just magically become 'man's best friend.' that was centuries of work people. if you want a chimp to be your friend you might want to be its friend first. cause it can tear your arm from its socket and beat you to death with it, and it wont even break a sweat!

stop being mad at the animal and start wondering at the people. i love animals too... but i still don't want to play with any of them until AFTER a 'millennial reign of peace...'

Friday, February 13, 2009

saving money the bass ackward way

California has a HUGE budget deficit. one of the biggest of all time.

here is part of their solution.

have all the State employee's stay home every other Friday. does this help ease traffic congestion? absolutely. i can attest to this. the train was practically deserted and my office mate said he got into the office in only 20 minutes today instead of the usual 45 minutes. (i am sure this is due in part to the holiday weekend as well).

but by not paying the employee's one day less each pay period save money? NO, it doesn't ACTUALLY save any money. all the projects are still being worked, they are just taking longer now. NOTE TO CALIFORNIA: this means that these projects are COSTING MORE.

now i don't have all the solutions (though i often express the opinion that i do), but the best one i can see is spend LESS then you BRING IN. that seems to work for most people. the people that followed that advice are still doing rather well, despite the recession and crappy economy.

here is another one if that one is out of the State's reach. privatize some of it. the DMV would be a great example of something that would work WAY better if it was private. look what happened to public transportation once it went private! buses were on time, they went more places, and the employee's were payed better and had better compensation packages. if the DMV went private, the long line would disappear, i wouldn't be annoyed at the RETARDED people that work there (they would be fired for incompetence), and it would bring in revenue to both the State and the private company.

there let's try that one...

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Im not jealous... well... not usually.

I seem to have developed a problem. (among my many). i really can't think of any time in the past when i was jealous of anyone. I usually have the opinion and outlook that anything someone else has, i can also have or get, etc.

but i have heard recently of many of my friends getting promotions, stock options, GIGANTIC raises, and bonuses that are just NICE! (you all know who each of you are). and i in no way want you/them to think that i don't know that they deserve these things. they all worked hard for them and are completely deserving of what they have received. but i am left with this feeling, that i am working just as hard (if not harder in some cases) and am not receiving any of these... i will call them blessings. again, i usually don't mind. i think the reason it is... on my mind... is that i could really USE them! before it wasn't something that i NEED, it was more something that would be nice...

man, i hate this feeling. jealousy is the complete suxx0r!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

I am with Isreal. period.

I know this is a highly disputed subject. I know that war is bad. that horrible things happen during war time. I truly feel for those innocents that are paying the price for other peoples stupidity.

here is how i see it. every couple decades, Israel has to re-establish that they are not prey. they have had their rights, religion, and lives threatened far longer than... well just about anyone i can think of. Israel (and specifically Jerusalem) were theirs before the other people that are currently claiming that land. more importantly, they have been there for over 50 years now. they aren't leaving. it is almost set in stone. they will be there and fight until they are all dead, or everyone else leaves them alone.

in the "6 Day War", the Israeli's established that they are not a push over. in fact they are a cornered badger in its den. and Israel's neighbors keep poking sticks (read 'rockets') into the den. now those neighbors have some how got the whole world all upset that the badger came out and is not content to bite their hand... no they want the whole damn arm. I say they should get it. The U.N. should shut its freaking pie hole. if it had done what it was meant to, they would have stopped the rockets. IF ISRAEL KNOWS HOW THEY ARE GETTING ROCKETS and HOW TO STOP THEM. then the U.N. knew too.

so Israel. I say wreak havoc. destroy them. they have publicly declared that they intend to 'utterly destroy' you. i say you mimic their intentions. destroy them until they capitulate. and only stop when they have stopped. you have superior weapons and training. the only thing that keeps them from being wiped out is your morals. remind them of that.

I am an advocate of 'Total War' because it is the fastest way to end a war and to prevent future wars. in nature animals know when it is best to leave something alone. you don't bother a mother bear, you don't bother a feeding wolverine, and you leave a cornered badger the hell alone! Japan doesn't pick fights with the US anymore... any guess as to why?

Monday, January 12, 2009

what is wrong with society? wait. i have asked this before...

so i know that i talk about my travels on public transport...often. but here is another example of how far our society has fallen.

a woman needed a seat. no one close to her was moving. so i half way back in the bus, stand and offer her my seat. i think nothing of it. except all the women on the bus start to clap for me. i am not lying. the women all clapped for me. they all say they are 'so impressed,' 'what a gentleman,' etc. i blush a little and stare at the floor for the remainder of the ride.

my only thought was this. every guy that i know and associate with, would have done the same thing. further more, my mother (and all of the mothers that i know of my friends) would have murdered me if i hadn't given up my seat. so if i don't know any of these A-Holes, does this mean that there aren't REALLY that many of them? or is it simply that i have a VERY small social circle? and if it is the latter... is that a bad thing?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The Utes are awesome.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3815656

that article by mr. Reilly is well stated and clarifies the issue the best.

'nuff said.

who REALLY uses calenders?

i have a problem. my whole life i have had a great memory. this meant i never took notes all through school. i never kept a calender cause i remembered all my appointments, friends birthdays, etc. i know this doesn't sound like a 'problem' per se... except that since marriage my memory has progressively gone downhill. exponentially. i am starting to understand why people forget anniversaries (i remember mine, leave me be).

as a result of my previous stellar memory, i never learned to take good notes and i don't really think to 'check' a calender. what am i to do? this is getting really tough!

so here is what i have decided. i got myself a weekly calender and have gone through the whole thing and placed certain dates in it. i really hope i can get this working...

any suggestions? maybe one that doesn't actually require me to check a calender? :(