Thursday, November 6, 2008

are you really that oblivious?

I hate the stupid rolling briefcases. seriously. what lazy sack of crap can't carry a brief case? how much stuff do you really need to take to work that you need a luggage suitcase to haul to work?

If you are a user of one of these completely obnoxious bags, here are a few pointers for your own safety. ignoring these pointers could result in me losing what little 'cool' i have.

if you are fat and you are wheeling this bag around cause you can't physically carry it. this is a sign that you need more exercise. go get it. being that large is NOT acceptable unless you have a glandular problem.

if you are using it because you don't want to ruin your posture or it is bad for you back to carry the bag on one shoulder. think that through. unless you are 5'2" the little extend-able handle is not long enough and you walk hunched over anyway. that, my mentally crippled friend, is far worse for your back!

lastly, if you still insist on using that Devil-spawn device, be aware of where it is. in a crowded train station or on an escalator they are REALLY in THE WAY! if i trip over just one more of them i will pick the damn thing up and throw it. (they aren't that heavy you see? i can throw the damn thing). it does not get to take the space of a person on the escalator. people on the left are trying to pass you, so move that bag out of the way.

fair warning....

3 comments:

Bags said...

Ha ha ha!

Erin The Great said...

Great, now I have to throw away my roller brief cases! Thanks a lot man ;)

Jesse Thorn said...

How do you really feel on the subject?!? I don't think that I picked it up. (Bytheway, I agree 100%)