Morning jog?

I hate running. I have NEVER felt that "runner's high" that people talk about. Though that could be because I have never gone much further than 2 miles... Instead I just feel tired out, sweaty, and cranky after I run. My knees hurt, my back hurts, and my hip hurts. Generally I am just a whiner after I run. And no one likes whining, so I try to avoid running.

However, running is good for you. You gotta get some exercise, right? So, I dragged my butt out of bed at 5:30 this morning and made my neighbor go run with me. In an effort to avoid aching joints I thought we should avoid pavement and go run some trails at Lick Creek park...

The problem: There was something following us. I am fairly certain it wasn't a cougar, they don't make noise when they are going to eat something. So, I think it was a hyena... or maybe a small tiger? Big dog? I don't know, it was dark, in the woods, before the sun was up, I was still sleepy. I don't know what it was. I do know that it was as tall as mid thigh (I am 5'10") made lots of noise as it ran through the undergrowth at us and scared the crap out of me (a razorback? they have those in Texas, right?).

My neighbor told me when we got back to the car that he was surprised that I was such a fast runner, considering how little I run. I just told him, as long as I am faster than him, whatever it was would eat him instead.

Texas Transition part 2: They are bigger

I know that they say everything is bigger in Texas, but that is not totally true. It is just that once you get down here, you realize that all of the bugs are HUGE. They are so large in fact that change the names once they reach a certain size. Like a roach is actually called a "waterbug" once it is large enough that you might not be able to kill it with a baseball bat (that is not a joke - scared the crap out of me when it tried to crawl away after I beat it). Now why it becomes a "waterbug" when it actually is just a big freaking cockroach - I don't know. But they are gross.

But the really terrifying things are the Field Spiders and Wolf Spiders here... That image above is about life size. The first one I saw was well and truly the size of my palm, she was on the back porch and I decided to name her Shelob (10 points to anyone that gets that joke). I thought she was large enough that I should domesticate her and keep her as a watch animal in the back. But beware they jump... and they are really fast... and I only had a wood spoon... and I had to put a bell on my child to make sure I would know when they have carried him off. Seriously though, there is nothing as creepy as having one of these behemoths crawl across your foot. Ugh! Also, please note that they are large enough that you DO feel it when they bite. It hurts.

So come on down to Texas and see the freaky wildlife.

The Texas Transition - part 1

So we are finally here in Texas. Moved in... with most of our stuff.

Here begins the chronicles of The Texas Transition!!!

Today, will share the move. We planned to have all of our stuff packed up and on its way to Tejas on July 5. It almost worked too, if it weren't for that pesky moving company (I am so glad I grew up with Scooby)!

So lets get the basics down. The company name is "Serenity Van Lines" and with a name like that you would expect... well, serenity. Instead, I got morons that can't do fifth grade math and who over promise and under deliver.

Marc was our sales guy. I told him, "I have a 10x13x9' storage unit that holds everything that I need moved. He says, "great, that will be $1,800." Then he sends me an email with this "quote" in it. I ask him when it will be delivered, and he says when do you need it. I tell him the 10th of July, he says will do. This is the last time I am allowed to speak to Marc. Apparently, from here on out, I only get to speak to Sarah - the one and only person that will answer the phone and who REFUSES to let you speak to anyone else.

The truck is supposed to arrive to load our stuff at 7am on the 5th of July. We here NOTHING from them, until 9am at which time they tell us they had a flat tire. (HMMM...) But they finally get there at 10am, but what is 3 hours between friends? When I open the storage door, he goes, "that is way more than I was told you had." Now if you are like me, you are wondering - how is that? I said that I had a 10x13x9' and this is a 10x13x9' unit... he then says, "I was told you have 640 cubic feet." This means that Marc somehow got 640cu/ft from the dimensions I gave him. Now I welcome anyone to figure out how you can get that number from those measurements (put it in the comments if you figure it out). Cause whenever I do it, I come up with 1170cu/ft, which is 2x what Marc got. Guess what the does to my "quote"? it destroys it! I ended up paying $3,750 to get my stuff on a truck and on its way to Texas.

Except it wasn't on its way to Texas. Not at all. We don't hear from them until we call them on July 9 to confirm that we will have our stuff the next day. We aren't very fond of sleeping on concrete floors after all. Sarah tells me wife that we wont get our stuff for 21 business days. My wife, tells her she will need to speak with me and hangs up (this is done while we are driving two cars across TX). I call, and ask Sarah why we wont have our stuff for a month? Sarah tells me that my wife is a liar and that she didn't tell her a month. I bite my tongue, because I am not too keen on people calling my wife a liar. I ask her what she DID tell my wife? she says, "21 business days." I can't help it. I ask her how many business days are in a week. She tells me not to take that tone with her. I tell her I would try not to, but that by any measurement, 21 business days is a month. Now back to when I will get my furniture? Sarah, has no idea, but they will call us 24 hours before it will arrive. Do you know where it is now? Sarah, huffs and then lets me know that it hasn't left California yet... GRRRRR!

To shorten this lengthy tale, we got our stuff 8 days after it was supposed to arrive. They had broken multiple items of furniture, and judging by how things have gone thus far, I do not anticipate getting reimbursed for any of it.

I hate Serenity Van Lines. They are liars, cheats, and scam artists. No one should ever use them.

Part 2 coming soon...

A good book... sorta...

I just finished reading "The Informers" by Bret Easton Ellis. First, it was hands down one of the most depressing books I have ever read. It left me so... disillusioned with the the human character. It makes me want to rage at the moral bankruptcy that is portrayed in the pages. I have never read a book so devoid of hopelessness! "Lord of the Flies" and "Frankenstein" have always been at the top of my list for books that display human nature in real detail... now I have to add this book.

While I found the later books to have a protagonist that gives a positive spin on human nature, "The Informers" leaves me with a feeling of udder hopelessness. There is no character in this book that is not completely hollow and empty. I feel huge amounts of sadness for these people, that have everything that money could ever provide - yet they have nothing of real meaning. And that is the precise reason that I feel this book has affected me. I recognize what is meaningful and productive in my life. I am immensely grateful that I randomly grabbed this book.

If any readers have read this, let me know what you thought as well.

Who is the bad parent here?

You see that AK-47? That is what the kid at the park pointed at my son. When I told that 3-4 year-old (I assume, since he couldn't string a complete sentence together) not to point guns at people, he then pointed it at me and pulled the trigger. I was NOT amused. I told him, if he pointed it at me or my son again, I would take it from him.

His parents decided that I had no business speaking to their son and came to "discuss" my "poor behavior." I explained, that I don't think a responsible parent would allow their young* child to have such realistic replica weapons. Moreover, as a gun owner, I feel that it is irresponsible to not teach children that guns are not toys - and as such, should NEVER be pointed at another person.**

They then told me that they don't believe in guns, and that this wouldn't be a problem if people weren't allowed to own firearms...

I almost threw a fit right there. What kind of bas-ackward, moronic logic is that? You "don't believe in guns," yet you give your 3-year-old a toy gun? My tirade just getting started, they interject, "it is only an air-soft gun, it can't kill people - like your guns." I just stopped. I don't even know what to say to that. I literally gathered up my son and left.

My wife says I can't go to the park alone anymore.

* boys will be boys, and make anything into a gun after about age 6. But if you decide to furnish toy guns, make sure they aren't real looking.

** unless of course you are planning on shooting that person, in which case I hope your child has developed enough moral reasoning to make such a decision.

Behold! the Dictator!

If any of you were wondering, this is how it all starts. He pulls people out of the chair, climbs up, and begins to tell you that it is his chair and that you can't sit there... I guess that settles the matter. He runs the house.

Warning: I think this is the grossest thing I have seen.

I have seen people pee on parked cars in LA, I have even seen them pee on the seats in the train, but nothing compares to the above picture. I have debated writing about this because 1) it is simply too gross, and 2) I am not sure anyone really would want to know this... However, after a brief discussion with a colleague, it was decided that I must have a picture to prove that this is not all made up.

In case you can't tell what that is, it is a plastic bag full of vomit. It has been left on the train platform for about two weeks now. I would guess that the reason it is still there, is because no one will touch it. Frankly, can you blame them? So it has sat there and slowly the knot at the top has come undone and it has begun to leak out over the pavement. To add to the disturbing nature of this (check your gag reflex!) the plastic bag has kept it from drying out. It is now a gelatin like consistency. *shudder*

Strangely, this only makes me wonder who did this? I mean, if you are feeling so sick that you can't make it to a garbage can, why didn't you toss your cookies in the gutter (not more than 3 feet away)? Or at least someplace that can be sprayed down with a hose? What if you were on the train and only had the plastic bag? That is all well and good, but why would you leave the bag on the platform, rather than throw it away (again, there is a trashcan not more than 10 feet away)?

What is wrong with some people?