who the hell likes superman?

Do women have different pituitary glands?

2011-07-06T19:07:00.000-07:00

We just had our second son less than a week ago... Which means we don't sleep much.

But somehow no matter how groggy and beat up I feel when I have to get up with the baby, my wife is completely awake. She may not be chipper and happy, but she has all faculties up and firing on all cylinders. Whereas I spend the first ten to fifteen minutes trying to understand what is happening. I think this is because she has a malfunctioning pituitary gland that doesn't register what time of day/night it is. This is the only way a person can be "awake" when they are aroused from deep slumber at 3am. I am guessing it is a side effect of the pregnancy.

Cover Letters?

2011-02-08T05:55:00.000-08:00

I have been applying for summer internships and am getting a wee bit tired of writing cover letters. To have a really good cover letter, they all have to be custom, so you can't use the same one over and over. I almost used the below letter out of sheer frustration, but then thought better of it. Wouldn't want to burn any bridges.

Sir/Madam:

You have asked me to provide a cover letter for my application to (company name). Said letter is meant to have the applicant show how the skills and knowledge they possess could be used - usually in respect to your company. However, the irony was not lost, as I read that one of the talents/skills that are desired in this position is a desire to do things "a new way" and to have a "keen understanding of new media," etc.

A cover letter is truly just an ancient trope that should have ceased at the advent of the new millennium (if not the early nineties). In this new age of computers and "new media" all they really do is restate what can be gleaned from the attached resume by a person of average intelligence. They are rarely read by a hiring manager and are generally just extra work.

Is the purpose of having the applicant write something enable the hiring manager to see if they are able to communicate? If this is the reason, I apologize, though this could easily be accomplished - with less annoyance on both sides - by having the candidate write a short essay on a subject related to the company or industry. If this is not the reason for the letter, I must assume it is to continue an obsolete institution for no other reason than: we always have.

Best Regards,

What do you think? Would it burn bridges or scale mountains?

Our imminent doom... and salvation

2010-12-11T10:37:00.000-08:00

So I am the leader of a local Boy Scout troop. As part of Scouting you are supposed to live by the motto "be prepared." My boys were having a tough time of this, especially when it came to learning how to navigate by the stars and determining directions without a compass or GPS. They complained that they would always have a GPS so why have to learn these things?

So I asked what was the worst case scenario that they could think of.

One said being lost in the woods with a broken leg. (I had to embellish this, because that just isn't that bad...) I added that is was early spring and there is a mother bear with two cubs nearby as well.

One said having your boat sink in shark infested waters and no flotation device. (I added that they have a deep puncture wound in their thigh).

They listed a few other situations of lesser concern... Finally I was through. I asked the most important question EVER. "What about the Zombie Apocalypse?" Seriously, that got their undivided attention. They now go into every single situation and merit badge with the thought of how this will aid in the Zombie plague that is bound to happen eventually.

In that light, I thought I would share a great idea that I found floating (pun intended) around on the web. It could work and I bet this was thought of by a Boy Scout.

It must be a conspiracy...

2010-12-09T16:27:00.000-08:00

I have noticed that whenever I am in need of NyQuil (aka "the greatest drug eva!") there is only a little left in the bottle. Not enough to actually let me sleep... just enough that I am left irate. Which means that I have to go and get some more. I never notice that I am almost out of ambrosia... I mean NyQuil... until I am sick and need it again.

Upon returning from the store, I believe I just discovered the reason. There is only enough in each bottle for about 4 or 5 nights of blissful rest. Roughly the number of nights you would have a cold bad enough that you can't sleep... They do that on purpose. I know they do.

Damn you, Vicks marketing group!

Can you believe that she has been with me for 30 years?

2010-11-08T06:10:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is our anniversary. Yeah, 3 years (though I swear that I am really old, so it must be more like 30, but 30 years of bliss!).

Who would have thought that my wife would be able to put up with my negative attitude for this long? I would say that 90% of everything I have to comment on is negative. It took her an entire year to realize that I am a jerk to everyone (except her). Another year to realize that I am cantankerous, ornery, and short tempered when I am hungry (30% of my day), tired (80% of the time these days), or don't get my football game on TV (1% of my life). Yet she remains steadfastly supportive and caring.

It never ceases to amaze me.

Honey, I love you! And I know that you are the perfect woman for me! Happy Anniversary!

Morning jog?

2010-09-24T06:23:00.000-07:00

I hate running. I have NEVER felt that "runner's high" that people talk about. Though that could be because I have never gone much further than 2 miles... Instead I just feel tired out, sweaty, and cranky after I run. My knees hurt, my back hurts, and my hip hurts. Generally I am just a whiner after I run. And no one likes whining, so I try to avoid running.

However, running is good for you. You gotta get some exercise, right? So, I dragged my butt out of bed at 5:30 this morning and made my neighbor go run with me. In an effort to avoid aching joints I thought we should avoid pavement and go run some trails at Lick Creek park...

The problem: There was something following us. I am fairly certain it wasn't a cougar, they don't make noise when they are going to eat something. So, I think it was a hyena... or maybe a small tiger? Big dog? I don't know, it was dark, in the woods, before the sun was up, I was still sleepy. I don't know what it was. I do know that it was as tall as mid thigh (I am 5'10") made lots of noise as it ran through the undergrowth at us and scared the crap out of me (a razorback? they have those in Texas, right?).

My neighbor told me when we got back to the car that he was surprised that I was such a fast runner, considering how little I run. I just told him, as long as I am faster than him, whatever it was would eat him instead.

Texas Transition part 2: They are bigger

2010-07-29T14:23:00.000-07:00

I know that they say everything is bigger in Texas, but that is not totally true. It is just that once you get down here, you realize that all of the bugs are HUGE. They are so large in fact that change the names once they reach a certain size. Like a roach is actually called a "waterbug" once it is large enough that you might not be able to kill it with a baseball bat (that is not a joke - scared the crap out of me when it tried to crawl away after I beat it). Now why it becomes a "waterbug" when it actually is just a big freaking cockroach - I don't know. But they are gross.

But the really terrifying things are the Field Spiders and Wolf Spiders here... That image above is about life size. The first one I saw was well and truly the size of my palm, she was on the back porch and I decided to name her Shelob (10 points to anyone that gets that joke). I thought she was large enough that I should domesticate her and keep her as a watch animal in the back. But beware they jump... and they are really fast... and I only had a wood spoon... and I had to put a bell on my child to make sure I would know when they have carried him off. Seriously though, there is nothing as creepy as having one of these behemoths crawl across your foot. Ugh! Also, please note that they are large enough that you DO feel it when they bite. It hurts.

So come on down to Texas and see the freaky wildlife.

The Texas Transition - part 1

2010-07-27T09:41:00.000-07:00

So we are finally here in Texas. Moved in... with most of our stuff.

Here begins the chronicles of The Texas Transition!!!

Today, will share the move. We planned to have all of our stuff packed up and on its way to Tejas on July 5. It almost worked too, if it weren't for that pesky moving company (I am so glad I grew up with Scooby)!

So lets get the basics down. The company name is "Serenity Van Lines" and with a name like that you would expect... well, serenity. Instead, I got morons that can't do fifth grade math and who over promise and under deliver.

Marc was our sales guy. I told him, "I have a 10x13x9' storage unit that holds everything that I need moved. He says, "great, that will be $1,800." Then he sends me an email with this "quote" in it. I ask him when it will be delivered, and he says when do you need it. I tell him the 10th of July, he says will do. This is the last time I am allowed to speak to Marc. Apparently, from here on out, I only get to speak to Sarah - the one and only person that will answer the phone and who REFUSES to let you speak to anyone else.

The truck is supposed to arrive to load our stuff at 7am on the 5th of July. We here NOTHING from them, until 9am at which time they tell us they had a flat tire. (HMMM...) But they finally get there at 10am, but what is 3 hours between friends? When I open the storage door, he goes, "that is way more than I was told you had." Now if you are like me, you are wondering - how is that? I said that I had a 10x13x9' and this is a 10x13x9' unit... he then says, "I was told you have 640 cubic feet." This means that Marc somehow got 640cu/ft from the dimensions I gave him. Now I welcome anyone to figure out how you can get that number from those measurements (put it in the comments if you figure it out). Cause whenever I do it, I come up with 1170cu/ft, which is 2x what Marc got. Guess what the does to my "quote"? it destroys it! I ended up paying $3,750 to get my stuff on a truck and on its way to Texas.

Except it wasn't on its way to Texas. Not at all. We don't hear from them until we call them on July 9 to confirm that we will have our stuff the next day. We aren't very fond of sleeping on concrete floors after all. Sarah tells me wife that we wont get our stuff for 21 business days. My wife, tells her she will need to speak with me and hangs up (this is done while we are driving two cars across TX). I call, and ask Sarah why we wont have our stuff for a month? Sarah tells me that my wife is a liar and that she didn't tell her a month. I bite my tongue, because I am not too keen on people calling my wife a liar. I ask her what she DID tell my wife? she says, "21 business days." I can't help it. I ask her how many business days are in a week. She tells me not to take that tone with her. I tell her I would try not to, but that by any measurement, 21 business days is a month. Now back to when I will get my furniture? Sarah, has no idea, but they will call us 24 hours before it will arrive. Do you know where it is now? Sarah, huffs and then lets me know that it hasn't left California yet... GRRRRR!

To shorten this lengthy tale, we got our stuff 8 days after it was supposed to arrive. They had broken multiple items of furniture, and judging by how things have gone thus far, I do not anticipate getting reimbursed for any of it.

I hate Serenity Van Lines. They are liars, cheats, and scam artists. No one should ever use them.

Part 2 coming soon...

A good book... sorta...

2010-06-28T08:46:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading "The Informers" by Bret Easton Ellis. First, it was hands down one of the most depressing books I have ever read. It left me so... disillusioned with the the human character. It makes me want to rage at the moral bankruptcy that is portrayed in the pages. I have never read a book so devoid of hopelessness! "Lord of the Flies" and "Frankenstein" have always been at the top of my list for books that display human nature in real detail... now I have to add this book.

While I found the later books to have a protagonist that gives a positive spin on human nature, "The Informers" leaves me with a feeling of udder hopelessness. There is no character in this book that is not completely hollow and empty. I feel huge amounts of sadness for these people, that have everything that money could ever provide - yet they have nothing of real meaning. And that is the precise reason that I feel this book has affected me. I recognize what is meaningful and productive in my life. I am immensely grateful that I randomly grabbed this book.

If any readers have read this, let me know what you thought as well.

Who is the bad parent here?

2010-06-14T10:00:00.000-07:00

You see that AK-47? That is what the kid at the park pointed at my son. When I told that 3-4 year-old (I assume, since he couldn't string a complete sentence together) not to point guns at people, he then pointed it at me and pulled the trigger. I was NOT amused. I told him, if he pointed it at me or my son again, I would take it from him.

His parents decided that I had no business speaking to their son and came to "discuss" my "poor behavior." I explained, that I don't think a responsible parent would allow their young* child to have such realistic replica weapons. Moreover, as a gun owner, I feel that it is irresponsible to not teach children that guns are not toys - and as such, should NEVER be pointed at another person.**

They then told me that they don't believe in guns, and that this wouldn't be a problem if people weren't allowed to own firearms...

I almost threw a fit right there. What kind of bas-ackward, moronic logic is that? You "don't believe in guns," yet you give your 3-year-old a toy gun? My tirade just getting started, they interject, "it is only an air-soft gun, it can't kill people - like your guns." I just stopped. I don't even know what to say to that. I literally gathered up my son and left.

My wife says I can't go to the park alone anymore.

* boys will be boys, and make anything into a gun after about age 6. But if you decide to furnish toy guns, make sure they aren't real looking.

** unless of course you are planning on shooting that person, in which case I hope your child has developed enough moral reasoning to make such a decision.

Behold! the Dictator!

2010-06-08T08:20:00.001-07:00

If any of you were wondering, this is how it all starts. He pulls people out of the chair, climbs up, and begins to tell you that it is his chair and that you can't sit there... I guess that settles the matter. He runs the house.

Warning: I think this is the grossest thing I have seen.

2010-06-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

I have seen people pee on parked cars in LA, I have even seen them pee on the seats in the train, but nothing compares to the above picture. I have debated writing about this because 1) it is simply too gross, and 2) I am not sure anyone really would want to know this... However, after a brief discussion with a colleague, it was decided that I must have a picture to prove that this is not all made up.

In case you can't tell what that is, it is a plastic bag full of vomit. It has been left on the train platform for about two weeks now. I would guess that the reason it is still there, is because no one will touch it. Frankly, can you blame them? So it has sat there and slowly the knot at the top has come undone and it has begun to leak out over the pavement. To add to the disturbing nature of this (check your gag reflex!) the plastic bag has kept it from drying out. It is now a gelatin like consistency. *shudder*

Strangely, this only makes me wonder who did this? I mean, if you are feeling so sick that you can't make it to a garbage can, why didn't you toss your cookies in the gutter (not more than 3 feet away)? Or at least someplace that can be sprayed down with a hose? What if you were on the train and only had the plastic bag? That is all well and good, but why would you leave the bag on the platform, rather than throw it away (again, there is a trashcan not more than 10 feet away)?

What is wrong with some people?

Some people really shouldn't procreate.

2010-05-21T14:59:00.000-07:00

I think it should be a prerequisite for anyone that chooses to argue with a stranger, to understand the basic requirements of logic. (As an aside, it would also be of use to know the proper use of simile and metaphor).

I say this because a woman listened to a phone conversation that I had with my wife. I realize that I am on the train and so this conversation is not completely "private." So I will forgive her that she decided to start a conversation with me based on that. The topic was: "I want to get a dog."

She asked what kind of dog that I wanted. I told her a Rottweiler. Easy, right? unfortunately not. She told me that they are really stupid dogs. I responded, that wasn't my impression - after all, they use them for service dogs, guard dogs, rescue, police and military - they can't be that stupid. She says, "no, they don't use them for those things." I again, confirm that they do indeed. "no, they don't! I have never seen one!" (please remember that bold line, it will explain much of my irritation later). I can't help it, I pull up a picture on my phone of the German Military using them, to which she says, "Well they don't use them in the US." I was amazed... what ignorance is couched in a statement such as that? Is it that they don't exist in the US? Or just that anything that is done outside of US borders irrelevant?

*grrrr* my irritation is showing on my face.

She notices and somehow makes this HUGE leap... "I bet you are one of those religious nuts, aren't you? I can tell that you are annoyed, because I keep proving you wrong." I am so irate at that statement/assumption/question that I don't know which to address first. Did she anywhere "prove me wrong" and even if she had somehow done that, how would she determine if I were religious? Are all people that dislike being "proven wrong" religious? I decide to go with a bit of tact (or maybe not...).

"So, you prove religious people wrong? How so?"

"Oh! It is easy!" she practically squealed with delight. "I just ask if they have ever seen God, of course they haven't, so... they have to admit that God doesn't exist."

Wow... if only all arguments were solved so easily.

Palm Tree are tougher than they look

2010-05-17T08:33:00.000-07:00

On windy days I can see palm trees swaying back and forth. They look so thin and flexible, I just have a hard time thinking they are strong. I mean I can walk up and push on the trunk and it will move back and forth. I know that they are designed that way by nature to protect from topical storms, etc. I also know that there are multiple ways to define strength. But they seem really weak to me.

Until... I saw a Toyota Corolla get completely pwned by a palm that was only about 6" thick on the 55 freeway, this morning. Yeah, the tree was still there doing fine. That car got completely jacked (driver seemed to be ok).

I really wish I had a picture...

I was sat on... again.

2010-05-17T08:28:00.000-07:00

Today I decided that I am not going to miss riding the bus/train when I leave this job. I was sat on again. This woman had the common decency to be embarrassed and apologize, but I really don't like it. Apology or not, she wiggled her butt to fit better in the seat. That is very uncomfortable.

I remember why I take the train.

2010-05-06T08:11:00.000-07:00

I often talk about the strange people/things/events that happen on my train ride into work. If you ever wondered why I take the train instead of driving, wonder no more! I decided to drive in to work today.

Here are the facts:

The train takes 50 minutes + 10 minutes on each side of that trip = 70 minutes
I left earlier than I leave to catch the train, to "beat the traffic" and still spent 120 minutes sitting in traffic, being cut off, honked at when there is roughly 5 million cars in front of me, etc.
It takes 1/4 of a tank of gas for a round trip.
120 - 70 = 50 minutes of awesomeness.

I can honestly say that I fully understand how a person can develop road rage (I am not condoning that behavior) here in Southern California. If I had been driving this commute for the last few years, I am sure my mental state would be in question.

So, I don't think I will drive again.

How can we help people apply this?

2010-05-04T10:42:00.001-07:00

I was speaking with a colleague about the current economic conditions. We were discussing Greece and their predicament, and why that could (and frankly should) happen in the United States. By all measurements, especially Debt/GDP we are in worse shape than Greece. Why haven't we started to fix this I asked?

He expressed a good point: the common people don't really know how this is going to effect them. College professors, politicians, etc. can talk about GDP, National Debt, Keynesian theory - but until someone says "if this happens, no one has a job" people will continue to argue for Government spending.

So in that spirit, here is my attempt at making this simple.

The United States Dollar is the reserve currency of the world. This means that EVERY country will pretty much accept your US dollar. Our CURRENT debt estimate for the next ten years ($107 Trillion) is so high that we are UNABLE to service our debt. We have been effectively servicing our debt by rolling it to a new borrower, much like shifting the balance of my Visa to my MasterCard. In the end, they BOTH want to be paid, but we just CAN'T pay right now. We can not increase taxes enough to cover this debt. We can't even really inflate our way out of this debt. The only way to take care of this is CUT spending. Period. The Supreme Court has the authority to FORCE Congress to uphold their oaths. They can follow the Constitution and eliminate all other government spending that is not dictated in that document. This means Social Security, Medicare/Medicaid, etc. (this alone could possibly fix it) and even Defense (which is dictated) could be cut in half, because we DON'T have to police the world.

Now, how does that effect you? If the government defaults or inflates the dollar supply ALL of your money becomes useless. You will NOT be able to purchase food, housing, etc. with it. It will be as useful as toilet paper.

What do we do to fix it? We have to elect Representatives that will make the tough choices. That will ACTUALLY cut spending. And then we need to NOT PUNISH them for doing what needs to be done. What do you all say?

PS - If you are interested this article explains this concept fairly well.

I am inspired by this.

2010-04-30T10:58:00.000-07:00

There is a nice guy with a blog called Zefrank. I love his positive attitude on there. He lists all kinds of projects that he works on. This one in particular really moved me. I think we can all relate to the feelings expressed by the song.

I love that he did this just to be nice. We could all use a virtual (or real) hug sometimes, it is nice that someone is willing to.

Let me know what you all think.

&amp;amp;lt;a href="http://zefrank.bandcamp.com/track/chillout"&amp;amp;gt;chillout by zefrank&amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;gt;

I should get an honorary degree

2010-04-19T13:56:00.000-07:00

I am sitting on the train as usual. At this point I don't even pretend to avoid people on the train, the dumbest people are drawn to me like a moth to flame.

I find myself unabashedly listening to the discussion of two people across the aisle from me. A large bearded man and a woman in her late forties(ish?).

Man: "Did you know that cocoa and cocaine come from the same plant? Amazing that such different things can come from the same source!"

Woman: That is astounding! Are you sure?

Man: (leaning over toward me) She doesn't believe me, you know that don't you? You tell her!

Me: Well, actually they aren't the same at all. Cocoa comes from the cocoa bean and Cocaine comes from the Coca plant. They aren't even in the same genus.

Man: What, are you some kind of botanist?

Me: For the purposes of this conversation? Yes, I am.

Aren't there rules for this?

2010-04-06T11:21:00.000-07:00

So on the train I noticed something that has been in my periphery for some time. I attribute the oversight to always having to watch out for that sociopath...

Anyway, the train goes right past these subsidized/Income restricted housing(also sometimes called a ghetto) and I noticed that 3/4 of the apartments have a satellite dish. Now I am not certain of the cost of those dishes, but if I have to guess I would put the cost at about $100 plus the Monthly payment that has to be close to what cable is (which in SoCal is about $70-$100). So... these people are in such dire circumstances that they are not able to afford housing on their own. Because of this the government steps in and helps to the tune of 50% (and sometimes more), but they have enough free cash flow to pay for extra TV channels?

That doesn't sit well with me. Here is why:

the government only has that money to subsidize because they took it from someone else.
if you are in need of charity, than you should have exhausted your own resources first.
Cable/Satellite is a luxury, not a need. So are cell phones, computers, Internet, etc.

I am not saying that these people aren't in need. I am simply perplexed that the government doesn't have any rules in place to restrict frivolous spending. California might be able to close that budget deficit by a fair margin if it applies a few common sense rules... but who am I kidding? The government (Federal and State) does not have common sense. If they did, they would understand that you can't spend what you don't have. There is NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH. Everything has its cost. Shoot we don't even want to think about how much interest we are paying for our current deficit. It is ridiculous... I am going to go cry in the corner for a little while. Someone come get me when they decide to reimburse the tax payers for everyone's cable/satellite.

Entitlements

2010-03-30T08:15:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking quite a bit about the younger generation, my generation, and those old people that think so poorly of us. While this has been on my mind for a few weeks, and in no small way influenced by this post by The Big Bags, the catalyst is really a cranky old lady that said all the people that are under 30 are "rude, arrogant little S#!@s." This was said to me while I waited for my flight out of Austin on Sunday night. That statement bothered me.

Here is the thing. Yes, we have a feeling of entitlement. Yes, the generation that is even younger than mine feels even more entitled. Can this be a detriment? sure, but not always. Even the older generation feels entitled (they all feel entitled to respect that they don't always deserve, among other things). I mean, really, if we are rude it is because our parents didn't teach us better manners. I happen to know that my mother would STILL slap me if I didn't offer to help someone (anyone, of any age), or if I was rude to an older person. Probably even if I was rude to someone that was rude to me first. Most of my friends of my age are the same. So what 30-year-old pissed her off so much? Turns out, according to her, I am just like her grandson. Well, if her grandson didn't turn out the way she wanted, I would say part of that is her fault. But if her grandson really is like me, then she needs to calm down. Being sixty DOESN'T entitle you to skipping an entire airport line, just because. If you want to get through the line faster, then get a walker or a wheelchair. As long as you can perambulate on your own, then you can be an adult and wait in line like the rest of us. None of us want to wait in line, it is an airport after all.

And as a little note to these type of older people, I work really hard for what I have. I am not entitled to what I have, I have EARNED it.

A few things to get used to...

2010-03-29T08:58:00.000-07:00

Well we came back from Texas. Generally we loved it. We met some of the best people ever that will be in the MBA program with me. Great family and they will be our neighbors as well. Beautiful country, the air is so clean compared to LA, and the prices of everything compared to SoCal is just... awesome.

But I will have to get used to the following things.

people really do use "y'all" and "howdy" multiple times in every conversation
Not only do people buy "bedazzlers" but they use them... ugh!
There is a 2:1 ratio of Trucks (with a capital "T" to denote how freaking big they are) to cars
They only seem to drink coffee or ice tea

But these things are definitely overshadowed by the awesomeness of:

no State Income tax
Mutton busting (which I think Hudson will be doing)
no traffic
great ward
I can get a pair of cowboy boots and wont stand out
Tex-Mex

What are you talking about GB?

2010-03-24T08:45:00.000-07:00

Some one please help me. Why is this even an issue? The US census is part of the Constitution. It has been around since freaking 1790. Bachmann is a retard and I am questioning the intelligence of the people who voted her into office. She doesn't want *further* government intrusion? This is not further at all, the Patriot act was intrusive, but this is just par for the last 2 centuries or so.

To answer some of the questions that were posed:

Yes, the government needs to know how many people are in an area in order to determine not only Federal funding allocations, but also how many seats will be in the House of Representatives (they also use this data to determine the size and area of these districts).

No, they didn't include the question about legal residency because those that are not legal wont actually fill it out and return it. So I suppose this isn't the perfect time to find out how many illegal aliens are in the country.

No Glenn, don't be completely asinine, they can't use this information to take away your gun permit. The information in the census is information that you have already provided in order to legally own a firearm. This means that they already know who you are and where you live if you have a permit to own. Now... if you don't have the gun legally, that is different. But I still don't see how they could know that you have the illegal weapon from the questions in the survey, so they STILL can't use the census as a "loophole" to take away the gun.

Instead of trying to stir up trouble over something that has been done for centuries and has done little to no harm, try actually reporting the freaking news. I know that GB is an "opinion" show, can you have some logic in there somewhere? I mean, how did Glenn make the "logic leap" from "there are 3 people that live in this home" to "the government will take my gun"?

Each day I lose more faith in not only our politicians (there wasn't much to begin with) but our media are only a bunch of attention whores. They don't actually care about reporting anything worthwhile, only about what will get other brain dead people to watch. 5 minutes of thought would let you know that the census is FINE. Please for the love of all that is right in this world, fill out the census. If you choose not to, that is fine as well, so long as you have a logical reason for choosing not to. "I am lazy" works better than, "they will take my gun" or "they will know where I live."

Just a note.

2010-03-18T08:51:00.000-07:00

I saw the psycho actually going through the trash can today and collecting something that a lady had just thrown away. It is times like this that I am legitimately concerned for the safety of people in Southern California. I mean, this guy is still allowed to take public transit and creep people (mostly women) out, even after he has had the LA county Sheriff's speak to him about this type of behavior. So, our law enforcement can't do anything about this type of behavior... but we have people in prison for 30+ years on a marijuana possession charge. Seems like we have priorities in order.

More Geniuses like this.

2010-03-17T14:09:00.000-07:00

I work with a guy named Robert. He is a genius. I know that he must be, because he knows everything. I am not being facetious at all, either. This guy is like freaking Nikola Tesla! He does complicated math in his head, WHILE discussing the fundamental differences between an Internal Rate of Return (of an investment) and a Time Weighted Return (or other such insane feats of genius).

But I am not bringing this up because he is ridiculously intelligent. I bring it up, because he is also the nicest, most balanced guy I have ever met. Most people that I have met that are this smart, are just freaking strange, socially inept, mentally challenged in some other way. Not Robert, This dude has held conversations with me about everything from Comic books to the European Champions League (soccer) to Finance/economics. He has a pretty wife (who is also really nice) and they are thinking of having their first kid.

So why aren't there more smart people like Robert?

and one more thing...

2010-03-15T15:51:00.001-07:00

There is a reason that The Green Lantern Corps is afraid of The Batman.

Oh My EPIC.

2010-03-15T14:49:00.001-07:00

This is why Batman will always win! Bet you didn't know he was a Jedi...

as a follow up.

2010-03-05T10:05:00.000-08:00

previously I mentioned that my Xbox 360 broke. This is a follow up, to point out why the Japanese sell more cars and electronics than America does. Cause it still works.

Wow...maybe they DO get it.

2010-03-05T08:17:00.000-08:00

Awesomeness in all its forms is welcomed here.

10 year High School reunion

2010-03-02T14:57:00.000-08:00

Yup, it is that time. I am getting old at an alarming rate! I can't seem to decide if I should attend my 10 year HS reunion. Is it worth it? Have I accomplished enough? Do I really want my wife to see these people that I once knew? What about my ex's and old flames? I wonder if they are still attractive? or did they 'get old' like me? Not to mention, I had a HUGE graduating class... I doubt many people would remember me from back in the day...

What do the interwebs think I should do?

Tempting fate?

2010-02-26T08:55:00.001-08:00

This goes beyond tempting fate. At this point I believe I am spitting in the devil's eye, laughing in the face of Death, poking a sleeping bear. Or... I am just not scared by it anymore; I have pissed off the psycho on the train for another time!

I was preparing my stuff to get up and leave the train as we pulled into LA Union Station... and there he was. Making some women very uncomfortable. Ignoring their pleas to "just leave."

At this point I have lost all pretenses at being politic.

I simply call across the train car. "hey... yes you. What is your damage? I ask again, because you never answered last time I asked you if you were dropped as a child. You don't seem to comprehend that when you STAY after someone asks you politely to leave, it just makes everyone but you feel awkward. The nice lady asked you to leave. It can be hard when you have an IQ of less than 30, but try to understand..."

At that point I stopped because he had left the train car and couldn't hear me anymore. The women thanked me, and I told them to tell the conductor next time, because he knows about the psycho and will help.

I hate to think what that man does when I am not around... what a freak...

My new personal Circuit Judge

2010-02-22T14:46:00.000-08:00

I was riding the train home on Friday early, because I had a doctor appointment. I don't usually get to ride this train, and now I wish I did.

I sat across from a California Circuit Judge, who was chatting me up. We talked about what I am doing, where I am going, why I am choosing to attend one school (Texas A&M) over his Alma Mater (USC), how my family is, etc. etc.

Then he gave me some advice and his business card. He said: "The most important things to know about life are these: It will never be about what you know, it will always be about who you know. That being said, you can't choose what cards life deals you, but if you play them right they will always be enough."

Then he handed me the card and said, "now you know me," and implied that if I needed something...

So for my friends that are all about networking - you have the right idea. The more people you know, the more cards you have!

Let me know if any of you need something! Maybe I can return the favor...

This is epic and belongs here.

2010-02-19T08:45:00.000-08:00

This is a re-post from Jeffs Gameblog. But it sounds just like conversations that my wife and I have about dressing Hudson up as Batman. Below is the conversation that Jeff had with his wife, I believe that his daughter needs to meet my son.

actual conversation, moments ago

Me: Is Elizabeth [our daughter] dressed?

My wife: Yes, but I'm getting her a different pair of pants.

Me: What's wrong with the pants I got her?

My wife: Nothing. It's just that they're purple and don't go with the green shirt.

Me: Green and purple always go together in the comics.

My wife: Yes, but our daughter isn't the Joker.

Going to have to learn all about the 12th man.

2010-02-19T08:24:00.000-08:00

So the long awaited decision must be made.

Should we move to Pasadena and attend the University of Southern California? Become Trojans and incur a debt of close to $200k just for an MBA degree. While working full-time and trying to keep the wife happy (the same wife that feels that I work too much already). Tough to deal with... but it is USC.

OR...

Should we move to Texas and attend A&M? Become Aggies and deal with the weather (hot... very hot). They have offered a scholarship as well as in-State tuition... it is possible that I could end up with only $6-10k of debt. Would only be attending school and could spend all kinds of time with my wife and child. Possibly have the time to dedicate to school and graduate with honors...

Is this really a dilemma?

I think that all the time.

2010-02-10T15:39:00.000-08:00

People often tell me when they do dumb things, that they think they must be dumb... I think that too.

also epic

2010-01-28T13:26:00.000-08:00

I just keep finding these. It is funny... and maybe a bit offensive all in one.

Doesn't that go without saying?

2010-01-26T08:17:00.001-08:00

President Obama told Diane Sawyer, that he will continue to pursue an "aggressive agenda" because he would "rather be a good one-term President, than a mediocre two-term President."

Yeah, that should go without saying. I sincerely doubt anyone that has the ambition to become the President of the United States, sits down in the Oval office and goes, "now how do I do a 'so-so' job?" I mean really, NO ONE with any drive at all seeks to do a poor job. I am a rather pessimistic person, and even I will give a person the benefit of the doubt. If they do a poor job, it wasn't because they WANTED to. When it comes to President of the U.S. I think that the term "good" isn't determined by the President anyway. Mostly the Media I would think. And lets not kid ourselves, the media loves President Obama. They have their noses so far... anyway...

I guess, what I am saying is, I am glad that you want to be a good President, Mr. Obama. Because I would hate to see what you could/would do if you wanted to be a crappy one... (though in reality, only the future will decide which you were).

poor choice of words.

2010-01-20T09:26:00.000-08:00

"There is only one guarantee — that if we don't pass something the notion of trying to put Humpty Dumpty together again is a real long shot," said Rep. Patrick Kennedy, D-R.I., son of Edward Kennedy. "It's a lot easier to pass something and fix it later."

Did Mr. Kennedy realize that using Humpty Dumpty - the big egg that fell off the wall and couldn't be FIXED - as an example, was a poor choice if the next sentence out of your mouth is "[i]t's a lot easier to pass something and fix it later."? Cause the moral of Humpty is that once something is broken or wrong, it CAN'T be fixed. That is the reason you should have a GOOD, COMPLETE, and SOUND piece of legislation to begin with.

I would argue that statement by Mr. Kennedy sums up almost all that is wrong with our political leaders right now.

Our grandparents had it right all along.

"Anything worth doing, is worth doing right." And "if you go right at first, it is easier to go right all along."

Given the title of this blog...

2010-01-13T15:48:00.000-08:00

How can I resist this?

That is one of the best comics I have seen in awhile. It perfectly explains why Batman is so much better than Superman.

Brabus Smart car

2010-01-11T13:32:00.001-08:00

Isn't the point of a Smart car that they are economical and Gas efficient?

So, buying a Smart car that is made fast by Brabus would negate that wouldn't it?

I have seen more than a few of these in Orange County...

Only a few of my friends will find this as funny as I do.

2010-01-08T14:56:00.000-08:00

This is for Nate and Megs.

Muppets rule

I will leave now...

2010-01-08T08:27:00.000-08:00

A drunken man was making a nuisance of himself on the train. So much so that a transit cop was called and had to ask him to exit the train. This is the conversation.

Officer: Sir, could you please exit the train with me?

Drunken man: I would rather ride the train, I am a bit drunk.

O: yes sir, that is why I would like you to come with me.

DM: but... I would like to ride the train, come on and ride the train (while attempting to sing that last bit).

O: Sir, this is the last-

DM: (Standing up) I don't want to leave the train, I have a seat right here! Don't you see the seat? Why should I have to leave? I have a ticket!

O: Really? May I see your ticket?

DM: um... Of course!

At this point, DM opens his fly and proceeds to urinate all over himself and the seat he was on. He is still pissing everywhere as the officer grabs him and pulls him from the train. The look in the officers eyes said it all...

I would avoid car number 712 for the next few weeks at least~!

Happy New Year!

So can we stop calling us the "little guys"?

2009-12-24T08:10:00.000-08:00

The Utah vs. Cal game was GREAT. I was really happy to watch my team win. Decisively. Only one thing is bothering me...

The ESPN announcers kept calling the Mountain West teams "the little guys." Even though Wyoming won their bowl game, BYU straight MONKEY-STOMPED the Beavers in the Vegas bowl, and the Utah win last night was VERY dominant. I am also fairly confident that Air Force will win their game, and I would place money on TCU winning the Fiesta bowl. Last year, they said the same things about the Mountain West, and how Alabama was going to destroy us... and we know how that ended.

Hey BCS lovers, if your teams are so much better than ours, how come you have been getting your butts handed to you from just about ALL of the "little guys"? Why are you afraid to play Boise (I know they are WAC, but it is the same argument) or TCU?

Better luck next year with some of our teams rebuilding... Except I bet the rebuilding BYU will still thump the BCS teams.

As a follow up to the BigBags

2009-12-23T16:23:00.000-08:00

The Bags is an inspiration.

His Christmas present has been delivered. We were able to donate almost $2,000 for the education center of the Los Angeles Mission. The money will be put to use immediately to purchase computers to help the less fortunate obtain their GEDs and High School Diploma's.

Merry Christmas to all! and to all a good night!

ruminating on Batman

2009-12-22T08:37:00.000-08:00

So, I was thinking about Batman this morning. Not sure why... well I know WHY (I am a total nerd), but I am not sure why I was thinking of him in this regard.

I have had politics on my mind of late (probably cause they effed with my bonus) and was thinking about the Fed and what it does, what its purpose is, and how it has affected the current economic reality. Somehow in this thought process I started to think that the REASON (among others) that I like Batman so much more than Superman is that Batman has to deal with his problems with whatever he has available to him. While Superman can always do something impossible. There is a certain amount of pride that can be garnered from doing something from good hard work. Batman has to work for his accomplishments. Superman is just super, cause he was born that way, cause he is special, just because. That just... irritates me.

Our Congress (and entire government) doesn't actually see where the money comes from, they are happy that the money is just always there. It is always available to do any project that they want... They treat the federal balance sheet like a college kid on spring break with his parents credit card. There is nothing that they can't buy! They are Supermen/women! But eventually, reality will come creeping back in and ruin their party.

I just hope enough of them are sober enough to listen to constituents, because it might be one horrid hangover. The recent polls are telling. We don't like what Obama is doing, what the Senate is doing, what Congress is doing. This is not along party lines... we (the people) don't like the government right now. It now appears - according to the WSJ - that the greater majority of people do NOT trust the government to do the right thing most of the time. As in, we think they are crooks.

A bit of a ramble...

When is breaking the law, not breaking the law?

2009-12-18T11:52:00.000-08:00

When you are the Federal Government.

Yesterday the national debt, as reported by the Treasury, reached $12.13 trillion. Rest assured, it’s even higher by now. The official debt ceiling — a rule of law which the government must obey, lest it render all other laws illegitimate — currently does not allow the national debt to exceed $12.10 trillion. Viva la revolucion! The government is breaking the law!

Public Service Announcement

2009-12-08T21:49:00.001-08:00

Wearing sunglasses at night only makes you look like a douche.

I may have a death wish

2009-12-03T08:51:00.000-08:00

It has taken me two days to decide whether or not to post this. On one hand, some people that know of the situation have pointed out that I may have taken a risk to my safety (and they are probably correct). On the other hand, it was pretty funny and humor almost always win.

Here is the set-up.

I wander onto the later train to go home. It has been a long day and I am tired. I pull out my book and begin to read. There are two older ladies across from me who are both reading as well. Then the psycho sits down next to me (yes, the same freak show that stalked the poor girl a few months ago). I can feel the animosity coming off of him in waves, I swear - I am fairly certain he still wants me dead. I keep my cool and keep reading.

Freak show (to the ladies): "Is this the late night book reading club? I didn't know I was supposed to have a book. What are you reading?"

One lady ignores him (good for her) and the other, gives a muffled answer and shows the cover of her book.

Freak show: "yeah, is it good? I don't usually read those kind of books. I prefer periodicals... like adult periodicals... you know?"

The lady that sort of answered looks at him briefly with a strange look, then chooses to ignore him.

Freak show: "um... cause they are more stimulating that your book. Right?"

This time, I already know that he wont stop if they ignore him. I have seen him at this before. So before he can start to speak again, I start talking. I pretend that he isn't there and that I am only speaking to those two ladies.

Me: "I have found as a young man, that there are certain people that you can observe in society that just don't quite catch on to social cues. Especially from the opposite sex. Ultimately, I think it is a cautionary tale to us younger guys. We can say to ourselves, 'NEVER be like that guy.' Have you ladies ever met someone like that?"

I am proud to say that this was delivered completely dead pan. Not even my ever-present smirk was shown. I almost sounded philosophical. The two women tried to hide their laughter, but failed. The look on his face was priceless. It was worth the death-stare that he gave me for the rest of the ride.

Red ring of death...

2009-11-27T08:32:00.000-08:00

It is very unfortunate. My xbox 360 gave up the ghost. I am not happy about it at all.

fin.

Street Smarts vs. Book Smarts

2009-11-19T11:01:00.000-08:00

"I am not book smart, but I am street smart." I hate this saying... mostly because I am a cynic and only hear: "I am not book smart, but I am not smart." Yes, I know that many people disagree with that... I don't care, unless you can give me an example of "street smart" that does not use Common Sense, Social Awareness/Aptitude, or Emotional cognizance as an example of "street smarts." I mean, what is "street smart" anyway? The ability to live on the street, if you needed to? If that is the case, then I would have to argue that many "book smart" people also possess this ability.

Fun "fact"*

The real definition of Street Smarts is rarely, if ever actually applicable to those that claim to have it. The term comes from Wall Street (often called 'the street' in NYC), during the Gilded Age. Back when Andrew Carnegie and John Rockefeller ruled the financial world. It was meant to describe those people that traded on Wall Street that were not Ivy League educated, but knew 'the street' in such a way that they still made money. Hence, "street smart." But this would mean, that they were still really rather bright and could understand how to analyze a security properly to determine its real/fair value. It also means they probably had at least a fair-to-middling ability at mathematics. So really, if you aren't "book smart" (educated) but you are ACTUALLY smart and have learned a trade/skill, then I will leave you alone about saying that. But if you use that line as an excuse for why you hate math or don't succeed in school... then you are not "street smart" either. In both cases (book and street) it implies the ability to learn when given the opportunity. So if you are "street smart" then you can become "book smart."

okay... I am done. Let the hate filled argument commence!

* I am not sure how factual it really is, there was very little vetting on my part. It sounds legitimate...

Freudian Slips that reveal the truth

2009-11-11T15:27:00.001-08:00

This is an actual conversation that a friend and I had on Google Chat.

me: well maybe you should.

you are going to have to be our sales man

cause i am way to abrasive to do it. lol.

Eric: Jahangir you were a missionary same thing

That was hahaha at the first

me: ahahah. dude. was that a Freudian slip?

do you know what Jahangir means in Persian?

This was possibly the greatest Freudian slip ever. I think deep down he knows that it will be my title in the history books. MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (appropriately evil laugh).

always yield to the train.

2009-11-04T11:03:00.000-08:00

The train ahead of mine hit a car today, delaying us by over 3 hours. But more importantly, I want to stress that cars ALWAYS yield to trains. Period. No exceptions. I believe that this rule was established on physics, though I would imagine most would think common sense would dictate this adamant rule. Unfortunately, "common sense" is far from common.

Don't write checks you can't cash

2009-10-19T08:34:00.000-07:00

I think it is sound financial advice not to write a check that will bounce. I also think it is sound advice when the topic is "words coming out of your mouth." Case in point, this story.

I had to run to the train (nothing new), so I missed the build up to the "fight." I bet it was good too... as I jumped onto the train through the closing doors I was confronted with this scene... right out of a movie... well, at least the dialogue was.

Middle age white guy, staring creepily at a girl of... maybe 16? then the girls boyfriend stands up and says, "you scheming on my girl?" (seriously, I wasn't joking about the dialogue).

White guy, "what you gonna do about it?"

Boyfriend - lots of expletives that amounted to "I will introduce you to my fist."

(ready for the best part?)

White guy, "There are people in this world you don't want to mess with, I am one of them."

Right after he says this, the teenage boy pops him right in the jaw and he goes down like a chump. Then the train stops at Union Station, and everyone files out past the guy on the ground.

This episode taught me that I love LA for a few reasons. 1) They speak in Movie dialogue as though it is natural. 2) 90% percent of the people here have totally over inflated egos (so much so, that they can say "I am one of them" with a straight face). And 3) not a single person thought to check on the moron, they all just walked over and around him to get to where they were going, it was just business as usual.

Treasure Trove

2009-10-16T08:32:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody!

October has been a nightmare for me. I suppose that is fitting... nightmare... Halloween... ah, never mind....

Anyway, I have lots of stories that I have been saving up. Like this little ditty...

Walking to the Subway last Thursday I observed a homeless man peeing on all of the parked cars along the street. Yeah, he was just hanging out in the open, walking down the street, while peeing on all the cars. The best part is that there was one of "LA's Finest" watching this... and doing nothing. yeah... no reprimand, no citation, nada... So apparently it is socially and legally acceptable to urinate on other peoples property.

Sweet, I will just tuck that away in the back of my brain for future use.

I will try to post the rest of the stories soon. Until then...

"Have fun Storming (peeing on) the castle!"

Superpowers!

2009-09-24T14:00:00.000-07:00

So a friend asked a simple question: what superpower WOULDN'T you want?

Answer: telepathy. Why? because I know all the horrible stuff that I think, and I don't want to know what crappy things other people are thinking. I am a pessimist already, I don't need any more reason to dislike people. Plus, what if you "heard" some serial killer or child molester thoughts? ick!

But that got me thinking about the coolest superpower that you can have. Teleportation. huh? That wasn't what you were thinking? That is how we know you don't have telepathy...

So, anyway... teleportation would let you go anywhere you wanted in a nano-second! (maybe faster!) ANYWHERE. I mean, how awesome would that be? you wouldn't need to use cars, or planes (you will still ride motorcycles and roller coasters, because they are awesome too).

Now this leads to my next thought (I have to break it down so ya'll can follow my train of thought), which is that teleportation has gotta be possible. (Those that aren't religiously inclined may choose to ignore this part, but if you do, you miss out on some of my "logic") God manages to appear and disappear in split seconds. How can He do that if not be teleporting? So, if we assume that He created everything (which I do), therefore He created the rules upon which all physics are tied. We assume that He is perfect and a perfect being must follow the rules that have been created. This means that if we understand the rules of particle and quantum physics, and figure out the maximum velocity of self propulsion (so that we don't disintegrate), we should be able to teleport as well! YES!

so... who is good at physics? anybody?

Quite possible the cutest child ever.

2009-09-17T09:26:00.000-07:00

I wonder who he belongs to?

Good news.

2009-09-16T09:33:00.000-07:00

My car was still there when I returned last night. Looking no worse for the 14 hour stay in Santa Ana.

Of course, if I am honest, I was a little more concerned that I would be missing wheels and it would be on cinder blocks...

you are not my father.

2009-09-15T08:25:00.000-07:00

So I had to run for the train again this morning. I am exhausted from helping Kel with her test until the wee hours, and I slept through the alarm.

As a result, I was cutting it close and had to run for the train. Now, last time I had to do this, a man (whom I will now call DB for "Douche Bag") castigated me about crossing the tracks while the gates are starting to go down, as though he is either a police officer or my father. He is neither, but I had decided that I would attempt to be better (you should all be so proud!) and because of that, I chose to park on the other side of the tracks. This enabled me to make the train AND not cross the tracks with the gates down. Now before anyone asks why I never parked over there to begin with, let me say that the other side of the tracks, is 4Rilz the other side of the tracks! I catch the train in Santa Ana, which as far as I can tell, is the Orange County equivalent of Compton. So... I usually try to park in the monitored, patrolled, fenced in parking lot. But I didn't today... I am risking my car, to be true to my word!

...and do you know what DB said to me? He assumed when he saw me running that I had crossed the tracks and called me a liar! He said, "you aren't very good at obeying the law, or 'doing better' are you?" Pisses me off...

She sat on me...

2009-09-11T09:37:00.000-07:00

You read that title correctly. I was sat on by a large, corpulent woman. She would have been refused a seat on an airplane. Seriously. But that didn't stop her from giving no warning and sitting "next" to me on the bus this morning.

My personal space issues aside, this was a 90 degree southern California morning. Her folds enveloped the right side of my body from shoulder to knee, like a thick blanket. *shiver*

Even worse, I know that she couldn't reach all parts of herself when bathing, because of the strange mixture of B.O. and deodorant. The entire 10 minute ride I could feel my gag reflex tickling the back of my throat.

But the straw that broke my proverbial back is this: when I attempted to squeeze myself closer to the window, she gave me an offended "how dare you" look, and huffed "how rude..." I couldn't take it, I just couldn't.

I responded, "Ma'am, you are excused for sitting on me. I know that it must be difficult for you to ride on public transportation, seeing as it is designed to accommodate people of only semi-rotund girth, and you quite obviously exceed that size. You are not however, excused for claiming that I am rude, when I am only seeking to extricate myself from beneath you. I am sure you are very aware of your situation and should know that it is a discourtesy to sit on a person without warning or apology."

My tone was... 'strained politeness' might be a slight exaggeration, but it was close. She gave me a look that said she would murder me and all my family if she could and then stared straight ahead the remainder of the ride.

All this took place while she sat on me. Goo.

back to misused/overly used words.

2009-09-09T09:06:00.000-07:00

"Crisis" is a word that should be used in its proper time and place. Hurricane Katrina=Crisis, complete financial meltdown of Lehman bros.=Crisis, the current "state" of health-care in the US= troubling, but NOT a crisis.

This is not to say that we couldn't improve the system. I am simply trying to help people see that it isn't a crisis at this point. We don't have catastrophic casualties, and while costs are mounting, when they are seen with inflation they aren't "spiraling out of control." Frankly, if you want to improve the health system and lower your costs, just be healthier. Stop eating fast food, and get some exercise for crying out! Those two things alone could probably save you countless dollars...

If you want some more tips, just ask anyone other than a politician.

no more "one-uppers"

2009-08-31T12:10:00.000-07:00

"So you are tired? you have a broken finger? you got a ticket today? you were late waking up? your dog died? well, I only got 2 hours of sleep, have a broken leg and a broken back, got TWO tickets and my license revoked, missed the train because my alarm didn't go off, and all of my pets died this morning."

Whenever I mention that I am any of those things or countless other maladies, there is inevitably some douche bag that has to "one-up" my complaint. I assume in an effort to comfort me. But, how does your complaint make me feel better? When my wife says she doesn't feel well, I respond with words of comfort and see if there is something I can do to help. Not tell her why I am feeling much worse.

Where did people get the stupid idea that a person shares a discomfort so that you can perform a "one-up"? It was shared because they are looking for you to remedy or at the very least comfort said issue.

The difference is?

2009-08-19T08:36:00.000-07:00

This morning I was starving, so I decided to spring for a breakfast burrito at a local place here in Down Town LA. When I asked for a breakfast burrito, the man stared at me blankly for a few minutes than said, "we don't have burritos." I pointed to one and said, "what is that then?" "a wrap, would you like a wrap?"

This is where I had to pause. "what is the difference?" I finally asked.

His answer, "one is a wrap and the other is a burrito."

Friggin' idiot...

Just GO!

2009-08-18T07:17:00.001-07:00

Escalators were invented to speed up the flow of pedestrian traffic within high congestion areas, such as a mall. This is why the speed of an escalator is FASTER than the average person can go up a flight of stairs. On top of this, they are typically made wide enough that you can stand to one side and let others pass (unless you have one of the FREAKING irritating wheeled bags).

This means that escalators were not made to let your lazy butt sit there and impede the flow of traffic. You are effectively creating a bottleneck. Stop it. You are useless to our society. I know this, because you can't even walk up the escalator. A device that limits the number of steps you ACTUALLY have to use to get up to the next level of the building (attempting to improve efficiency). I know this, because without fail, you will be using a rolling bag (another device meant to improve efficiency), probably because you are too lazy to carry the briefcase yourself. I can make the statement that you don't contribute to our society in any meaningful way, because these two things show that you are so lackadaisical that you couldn't possibly perform any task assigned to you in an efficient manner.

I find my ire rising whenever I see your slow perambulations.

Natural consequence teaches better

2009-08-14T09:15:00.000-07:00

Those that read this blog know that I am a Green person (when it is semi-convenient) and ride the train to LA from the OC every day for work. This gives me the opportunity to meet interesting, and sometimes scary people (think Sociopath). One of the interesting people, is a man that is closing in on retirement. He is one of the more cantankerous people I have ever met. He often feels that it is his job to monitor the behavior of all other train riders and correct their actions. An example is the young man that he called the Sheriff's office on, because he was riding his bike on the train platform. While not safe to ride his bike there, it is far more dangerous to him, than it is to anyone else. Or the example that inspires this post: he told me that I should not break the law...

I wasn't sure what he was referring to, so asked him to explain. He then in a rather patronizing way explained that he saw me cross the tracks when the gates were coming down, and that if I am an honest person I shouldn't do that because that is breaking the law. I opened my mouth to respond in a less than respectful manner... and stopped. He is right, in the strictest sense. So, instead I simply said: "you are right, I will work on that."

But this little incident brings up a point that has been rubbing me raw for awhile now. Why do we have these stupid laws? I can't cross the tracks when the gate is down? I think that should be up to me, because I saw the warning sign. I understand the risk. I am not taking anyone with me (meaning I am endangering only myself). I look both ways, assess the probability of injury or death, and make a choice. I obviously wasn't hit by a train.

I think it is good that we have signs. It is good to warn people that there is danger. But that is all we should be responsible for. Warning them. They are then responsible for what they choose to do. If I were to be hit by the train, then we would have to say, that I was foolish. Not that Metrolink is to blame, or the city, or the county. They did what they were supposed to do. They called attention to the danger.

The point of this barely intelligible rant is this: Natural consequences teach us better than a citation, or something of that sort. It would increase personal responsibility among society; something we need more of! More importantly, it would cull the stupid from the herd of humanity, which is never a bad thing.

Why people should get out of the market

2009-08-14T08:40:00.000-07:00

I think it would be safe to say that I have been a negative person my whole life. Some people would say that I come by it rightly, those are the people who have met my father. But this life long pessimism is not why I think the market will drop even more in the 3rd and 4th quarter of this year. The following 10 reasons are why I am a Realist.

1. The Sub-Prime mess is still being dealt with, and the Alt-A and ARM mortgage mess is going to hit in a huge ugly wave of foreclosure in the next 6-12 months. (We could go on about this for awhile...)

2. Bond Default rates are very high, and are continuing to rise. (Defaulted bonds are the corporate way of saying I can't pay my mortgage).

3. The governments of almost every country are supporting poor fiscal responsibility and encouraging lazy people to continue in laziness (this doesn't stimulate an economy no matter what any politician says).

4. The fall season has historically (I know, I know, the past doesn't dictate the future) been the worst time for the Stock Market. Just about every recession we have ever had started in October or November, including this one.

5. The Short Sellers have covered their positions and shown less interest throughout July. This is a sign that the upward movement is uncalled for and will begin to falter.

6. Insiders for companies are selling their shares in droves, to the tune of 6 to 1 (seller to buyer). If the people that run the companies can see what is going on better than we can... then what do we see here?

7. While company profits have looked good this last quarter, this is largely due to cost cutting, not increased revenue. There is only so much you can cut... what will they cut next quarter?

8. Consumer Savings is going up (this isn't bad, it just means that people aren't spending, thus not 'stimulating' the economy).

9. Un-employment is still high. And if one were to do a little math on their own, you would find that the reported drop of 0.1% (down to 9.4%) was reported poorly by the media. The real unemployment rate is closer to 9.8% (a rise of 0.3%). This number also doesn't take into account the large number of underemployed people (people that have lost their job, but are currently working fewer hours or at less pay).

10. The Dollar is weakening, the Deficit is soaring, and Politicians think this is a good time to present a Health care overhaul that will increase the Deficit further, which will weaken the dollar more...

These things do not bode well for our financial future...

looking for a vacation

2009-08-10T09:54:00.000-07:00

I am so tired. I want a vacation so badly. It isn't sleep that I want, I want to not have to worry about my next deadline. Procrastination is going to rear its head soon...

But there is hope for this intrepid banker! For I will return to the land of my education in less than 2 weeks. Therefore, College friends, family lend me your ears! ;) I am coming home... Momma, I'm coming home...

hijacked words

2009-08-04T11:29:00.000-07:00

i will be very brief. I am more than slightly irritated by the overuse of certain words when politicians discuss profit. whether discussing Investment banks or Health Insurers, Ms. Pelosi is always calling the profits "obscene" or "immoral" (or both). Just because those words draw attention does not make them accurate. there is NOTHING inherently immoral or obscene about making a profit if you run a company. on top of that, when dealing with Health Care, people really ought to think before they speak. First, despite the problems with our health care system, America is STILL the pinnacle of medical care and treatment. there is no other place on the entire planet that you can receive BETTER care than here. Second, it is NOT the governments job to provide health care. period. if you want health care, go out and get it just like everyone else does you freaking slackers! there are no free lunches, even when people claim there are! suck it up and realize that someone is paying for it. and contrary to your lazy ass opinion, it is NOT a fair share to have someone else pay for it, just cause they can. what is your fair share? what have you contributed? If i bake a pie and use all my own time and ingredients that i purchased, what is your fair share of that pie? ZERO. you don't get any of my pie unless i SAY you do. if you want some of my pie, you can help make it. if you don't help, then SHOVE OFF, you lazy, sack of useless crap, thief.

ok. done.

Words without actions are worth what?

2009-07-16T08:47:00.000-07:00

President Obama is awesome as a public speaker. There is no denying that he possesses eloquence in excess. However, for awhile now I have felt that our Commander in Chief is missing something very important. Follow-through. All his pretty speeches are just that, pretty. His rhetoric is spectacular! But I want more than good ideas from a leader, I want action. I want an outcome.

Here is a short list of Obama's checklist.

Pretty speech about the economy? check. Any positive improvement (other than the media that spout crap anyway)? nada. Didn't get the change you were looking for? change the goal. (no one really strives for something when they don't succeed anyway, right? Why would we want a leader to be responsible for what they claim?) Talk to all the leaders of other countries, but don't have any actionable propositions. Done. Condemn Mahmoud (Iran) and let him think about his response until September. Good thought, except we are going to talk to him next week...

At this point President Obama, I don't have to agree with everything you say, but in order to be a good president... you will have to DO something more than give public speeches.

Why Los Angeles is awesome

2009-07-08T11:13:00.001-07:00

a couple weeks ago I had my life threatened by a sociopath that must have been dropped on his head as a child. Today? I saw an honest to goodness hillbilly train driver (conductor?)! He was wearing that funny hat they always have in the movies, no shirt, overalls, and a red hand-kerchief in his back pocket! I mean how awesome is that? This is like seeing a real life pirate, or catching a glimpse of a ninja scaling a wall...

which reminds me of the Gymnast Midgets that I saw on Hope street (downtown LA) back in June.

This place has more diversity than anyone could EVER dream of!

Shivers up my spine...

2009-06-24T08:38:00.000-07:00

Here comes another story from the train.

I was asked by a stranger to please sit next to her. This was a request, mind you, not a question. She asked, "if [I] would please sit next to [her]." She didn't even know who I was. I smiled politely and showed her my wedding ring. She responded with, "even better."

I just had to ask why she would want a married stranger to sit next to her? Her answer: cause there are some seriously creepy SOB's in this world. I was way too intrigued... I had to sit down.

Friends, this is how I learned that there are some people in this world where, it may have been better if they were never born. I like to think that I am a fairly open-minded person, who has a gift for discerning the light that is (supposedly) in all of us. That is why I stressed "may" earlier... but this man that I am about to tell you all about literally gave me shivers and I wanted to throw up, just from the feelings that I got from him.

She managed to tell me that there is a man that follows her from train car to train car, and that he doesn't catch any of the hints that she gives. That was all she could get out before some guy scared the Hell out of me, by putting his face between our seats from behind and says, "I thought that was you!" He then comes around to the other side of the seats and sits down across from us. I assumed (correctly) that this was our creep. Without telling you every painful detail, and they were painful, I will say this. The man is either socially inept with an utter disregard for personal space (you NEVER touch a woman's thigh like that... ever), or he is a sociopath that does not care whether the poor woman is uncomfortable. This poor lady, tried everything during the first 20 minutes of the ride. She ignored him, she asked him to please not touch her, she told him not to touch her, she said that she was very uncomfortable with his topic of conversation (tip to my single friends, don't talk about how a woman reminds you of a porn that you once saw, she WILL NOT find that flattering... ugh!), and lastly she looked at me with pleading eyes.

I know some of you are wondering why I let it go on for 20 minutes. The only thing I can say is. HE WAS FREAKING CREEPY! I was trying to figure out what was wrong with him. Seriously. I was thinking to myself that he must have been dropped as a child, or abandoned, or made fun of through High School. SOMETHING, must explain why he felt that was a good way to talk to a girl.

Sorry, I digress.

So when she looked to me for help, and there was no mistaking this look, I said to him: "you have made both of us very uncomfortable, please go to another car." I kid you not, he pretended like I hadn't even opened my mouth. Completely ignored me. This actually really bothered me, I hate to be so poignantly ignored. So before I could stop myself, I let something slip (my family knows about my Turrets). It wasn't the nicest thing, but it didn't include any profanity. He didn't ignore that, oh no, he looked at me and said, "...I have killed animals bigger than you." Then he SMILED at her, as though to disarm her.

It was at this point that I stood up, offered my hand to the damsel, and we left that train car. He tried to get up and follow, but I pushed him back into his seat, leaned close, and as calmly as I could, "I am not an injured animal that you chained in your garage, you psycho. If you follow us, I will break your face." Posturing over, I quickly escorted her to a different car.

When we arrived in LA, I walked her to the Sheriffs that were on the platform and told them the story. They said they would escort her to where she was going, and that one of them would go talk to the man (who was waiting about 30 yards away. *shiver*).

So everyone, if I happen to go missing... look for the fifty-odd year old that rides the Orange County line, that wears 80's style prescription glasses, and has a lumpy nose. If I saw in the paper that this guy had been kidnapping and killing people, I would not be surprised. He honest to goodness, scared the crap out of me. So creepy...

Lemonade? what a load of crap.

2009-06-03T09:50:00.000-07:00

recently i was told something that i am sure we all hear often. "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade." but, just think about how dumb that is... no, really, think about it.

lemonade is not just lemon juice. it has water and sugar as well... lots of it. water dilutes, and sugar sweetens. so when life gives us lemons (something bitter) how the crap are you supposed to make something sweet out of that, with out having... well, something sweet. and if you have something sweet, then you don't really have a bitter situation after all, do you?

i know... i am a hopeless Cynic.

Drunks pay taxes, why can't Stoners?

2009-05-19T15:00:00.000-07:00

California's budget is $15 billion under water. In my opinion this is mostly because the state is run by economic airheads. I can say that because, all of the fiscally intelligent people are too busy making money to run for office. That is our loss. There is also the issue that more than 60% of the population receives some sort of aid from the state government. California is starting to see why socialism doesn't work. (as I have said before, eventually you will run out of other people's money).

but there is hope for the crappy budget. It comes in the guise of "moral corruption," also known as legalizing marijuana. I have to say that it is humorous, to say the least, that a State that throws a fit over same sex marriage (a TRULY moral topic), is struggling at all with this issue. The pot growers have VOLUNTEERED to be taxed, and have suggested "at least $1 billion" in tax revenue. (the money that is saved by not having to enforce lame laws will be close to $10 billion on the low end). I know that there will be people that think this is a horrible idea, but if it is legalized, you solve a budget deficit, make lots of people happy, and correct a logic problem all in one. I mean, we let people drink and smoke tobacco. Both of those are taxed at a higher rate, because they are viewed as bad for your health. How is Mary Jane any different?

If you don't like it, don't smoke it. You can still enjoy all your state benefits, while you abstain.

exhaustion

2009-05-18T09:27:00.000-07:00

i think being an adult blows. who really wants to grow up? i seriously think that the only people that WANT to be older are moronic teenagers that don't understand how good they really have it.

as an adult, your weekend is full of more work. That is it. nothing else. you work all week, so that you can do all your errands on Saturday, so that you can do all of your church callings on Sunday, then start all over again on Monday.

being a grownup... sucks!

Redistribution of wealth? good luck with that...

2009-04-24T12:58:00.000-07:00

i suppose the few people that read my blog may have gathered that i have had the economy on my mind lately. not surprising, i would guess most people in the world have that on their minds more often these days. but i have to address another issue that is irking me.

lots of people are looking forward to the current administration's attempt to 'right the wrong' that is the unfair distribution of wealth. I could point out that the majority (not all... we have Paris Hilton to consider... ick!) of those that are ultra wealthy, paid their dues and in my opinion deserve their HARD EARNED wealth. the lesson we should learn is that if we work as hard as they do we can be wealthy too.

but that is an aside. my real topic is this. IF you want to redistribute the wealth of this nation, putting greater regulation on the industry is counter productive. sounds strange? here let me explain my reasoning.

our current economy is marked by lots of "Delevering" and "Deglobalization," these are natural consequences to an over bloated market that was fed by the very government that is now attempting to "fix" it. these are good things because they are correcting the market naturally. the economy is also marked by lots of re-regulation and new regulation. this is not a natural consequence. this will create an "inefficient market" (which is actually the whole point of the regulation). instead of rewarding the smartest and hardest working person, you can force (through regulations) a "fair" price, etc. fairly simple to understand.

here is where i start to smile to myself (more of a smirk, really). the reason that many investment banks made a KILLING in Eastern European countries, India, China, Brazil, etc. is BECAUSE they are inefficient markets. i mean for crap sake, i work for a "alternative" investment bank that specializes in this! we are practically licking our chops waiting for this to happen here in the US. inefficiency is what creates the opportunities to make money. so even though you are trying to redistribute the wealth, who do you think is going to be capitalizing on these markets? I can assure you that it will be the wealthy and they are going to remain wealthy.

so my advice: stop with the jealous whining and stop waiting for government handouts. they aren't helping any of us.

why raising Corporate taxes is a problem

2009-04-22T08:48:00.000-07:00

here is the thing. if the economy is failing (which it is) how is the government going to save it?

the answer: it can't

the government gets its funding from two main sources: taxes and it prints its own.

if it just prints the money to cover the shortfall that we are seeing then we will have inflation, maybe even hyper-inflation. that is VERY bad. don't believe me? look at what Mugabe has done in Zimbabwe. we are already being threatened by high inflation rates. so Obama (or any government) can't do that to fix it...

that leaves taxes to collect all the necessary funds for the 'relief' programs (Social security, Welfare, Unemployment, TARP, Bailouts, etc). now here's the thing, individual citizens are suffering in the economy and are making less money, so you can't increase their taxes without causing more harm. so who can the government tax? Corporations, of course! i mean, they are greedy and make too much money anyway (sarcasm is present). i will admit that some corporations are greedy and corrupt, but the vast majority of them are not. most of them are trying to keep producing in a stagnant economy. so when you increase taxes on them, that cuts into the earnings and revenue and the company needs to compensate in some way. the company has two ways to do this (1) increase the sale price of their product, or (2) cut costs. in order to increase the sales price to compensate for the proposed tax increase, most companies would need to up the price between 10%-30%. They wouldn't be able to sell very much in a sinking economy by doing that, now would they? so that leaves them with cutting costs. guess what is the easiest and most efficient way to cut costs? get rid of employees. that is right, lay-offs.

so increasing the corporate tax will lead to more unemployment. which leads to further recession, etc. i believe the term we are looking for is 'a vicious spiral.'

so here is a suggestion for employers that i heard and I think it is good enough to propagate. if you are having trouble deciding which employees to let go. just go to the parking lot, and find the cars with 'Obama' stickers. after all, they did want change...

disconnected from reality

2009-04-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

the current market is completely disconnected from reality. all last week, i stared at the market indices and wondered what was going on...

unemployment is STILL on the rise, so how is it good news that unemployment is ONLY at 10% on average across the country, just because the pundits THOUGHT that it would be closer to 11%? or the fact that Goldman Sachs, Citigroup, and JPMorgan reported black in their earnings for 1Q09? not hard to do when you change your fiscal accounting period so that you don't have to include December 2008, one of the WORST months in history (Goldman didn't have to report almost $7 Billion in losses with that stunt). Or writing more Credit Default Swaps (CDS) that are one of the risky assets that people are trying to get rid of (JPMorgan holds close to 50% of all of the worlds CDS's). the accounting gimmicks are running wild.

Further more, housing prices are still dropping, foreclosures are WAY up, and defaults are climbing. these are not good pieces of news. that is why i am RELIEVED that the market has lost everything that it gained last week. it just didn't make sense...

Ron Paul and my taxes.

2009-03-26T10:34:00.000-07:00

so, i have been reading a book by Ron Paul. i am really liking it. i think the reason i like it so much is that one, he makes sense. two, he isn't a douche bag that ignores things that he disagrees with (he addresses them instead, what a novelty for a politician!). Lastly, he explains the Constitution and uses it as the basis of all of his arguments, which is EXACTLY what all politicians should do.

one of the arguments that has been rolling around in my head for a day or two is that for income tax. Income tax is NOT Constitutional. I never thought about it, but he is right, it is just a form of slavery. we don't really have a choice in paying them or not. we must pay them or we go to prison. how is that any different from me going to my neighbor with a gun and demanding some of his/her income? or, is a slave really free if you allow him to vote, if he is still not able to keep that which he labored for? it is the same principle, and that is why it has really been irritating me. income taxes, conscription, and many other abuses of the Constitution that are perpetrated by our very own government... is it any wonder that i have been so jaded with politics? neither party really adheres to the very document that is supposed to serve as the divining rod for our great country.

much more thought will need to go into our next election process, cause i can't vote on party lines at all...

Meds

2009-03-05T07:48:00.000-08:00

i used to wonder why a person that suffered from depression or bi-polar disorder would ever go off of their meds. why would they choose to be irrational and violent? i know what people have said. that they want to feel the highs that come with it as well, and the meds keep them from feeling that as well. i used to shrug that off and think to myself, that there is no way that a sane person would make that choice.

therefore: i must be insane.

i am taking a new medication for my migraines. it is called Topamax. it is a daily pill that i take each morning and night. one of the side effects of this drug is that your cognitive functions are slowed and you will 'often forget words,' meaning i can give you the definition of the word i want to use, but can't think of the word itself. i have found that this is more frustrating than anything i have ever in my life experienced. it makes everything that i do, from work, to Church callings, to speaking with my wife, more difficult. and i HATE it. i hate it so much, that i would rather have a massive, pounding, nausea-inducing migraine than take this stupid crap-tastic drug. this is my official declaration, that i am going off the meds.

the twisted form of Wolverines healing factor?

2009-03-04T17:08:00.000-08:00

my beautiful wife is feeling unwell. this is a bad thing. i don't like being around unwell people. not because i am afraid of their small sickness, but because i seem to have developed some sort of exponential factor (or for those that don't speak nerd, an 'X-factor'). whatever they have, i will get to the 'nth' degree. ask Jesse, he will tell you. i don't get sick... i almost die. that is the way it works with me. i never have a cold, i get West Nile. i don't get the Flu, i get Ebola. i don't get headaches, i get incapacitating-coma-inducing-migraines from Hell.

so i am just curious, does this mean that i am a mutant? are all fictions based on small kernels of truth? was 'Unbreakable' telling the truth? who would have thought? maybe i am meant to be a super hero... or am i to be called 'mr. sick... they call me mr. sick.' LOLZ!

Obama says we aren't quiters.

2009-02-25T08:33:00.000-08:00

I think he is wrong though. cause we have become a nation of whiners and french people. we are becoming more and more the European socialists that we used to mock and revile. we used to mock them because they still relied on a sense of 'monarchy' or 'class' that was supposed to help those that were less fortunate. those that couldn't do it themselves. those that had would provide for those that didn't. well after hundreds of years, we can see how well that has worked. America on the other hand, said 'eff that! give us your tired, your hungry, your poor. we will do it ourselves. we will be bankers, we will be steel barons, we will be presidents, we will be generals, we will be business leaders, scientists and scholars. we don't need an aristocratic class to tell us what to do or to help us.'

THAT is what made America great. that is why the rest of the world didn't and doesn't like us. because we pointed out that we don't need them. we are self sufficient. we are tough SOB's and can do whatever we want. we are capable. we are stalwart. when a European factory worker saw his boss drive off in the nice car he would say 'i want to bomb that car.' when the American worker see's it, he says: ' i am going to have a car like that some day.' at least that is what we used to be like... now we have huge bail outs, massive government debt and spending. (do you that read my blog realize that we spend $1.42 for every $1 of tax revenue brought in? we are increasing our deficit by 42% a year!) when did our beloved Democracy become a Socialist regime? but, you know... the problem with Socialism, is that eventually you run out of other peoples money.

monkeys and other animals

2009-02-20T10:57:00.000-08:00

i love monkeys, actual monkeys, mind you, not necessarily chimps. but chimps are cool too. Gorillas are complete BAMFs. i love Pumas (which should be interpreted as Lions and Tigers and all 'Great Cats.' or even easier, any cat that is capable of severely incapacitating a large animal or human). i love Polar bears and Grizzly bears. one day in the Millennium (provided i live that long) i will wrestle with a Polar bear. they are so freaking awesome. lastly i love sharks. especially the ones that jump out of the water to eat seals. no one can say that isn't the most spectacular display of awesomeness in the aquatic animal kingdom. all these animals are amazing because they are very powerful and dominate their individual areas of the animal kingdom.

what was the point of that paragraph, you ask? it wandered, and was loosely written, you say? here is my point. they are all wild animals and shouldn't be bought or 'owned' ever. i think anyone that wants to attempt to domesticate them needs to accept the consequences that come with domesticating animals. dogs didn't just magically become 'man's best friend.' that was centuries of work people. if you want a chimp to be your friend you might want to be its friend first. cause it can tear your arm from its socket and beat you to death with it, and it wont even break a sweat!

stop being mad at the animal and start wondering at the people. i love animals too... but i still don't want to play with any of them until AFTER a 'millennial reign of peace...'

saving money the bass ackward way

2009-02-13T12:02:00.001-08:00

California has a HUGE budget deficit. one of the biggest of all time.

here is part of their solution.

have all the State employee's stay home every other Friday. does this help ease traffic congestion? absolutely. i can attest to this. the train was practically deserted and my office mate said he got into the office in only 20 minutes today instead of the usual 45 minutes. (i am sure this is due in part to the holiday weekend as well).

but by not paying the employee's one day less each pay period save money? NO, it doesn't ACTUALLY save any money. all the projects are still being worked, they are just taking longer now. NOTE TO CALIFORNIA: this means that these projects are COSTING MORE.

now i don't have all the solutions (though i often express the opinion that i do), but the best one i can see is spend LESS then you BRING IN. that seems to work for most people. the people that followed that advice are still doing rather well, despite the recession and crappy economy.

here is another one if that one is out of the State's reach. privatize some of it. the DMV would be a great example of something that would work WAY better if it was private. look what happened to public transportation once it went private! buses were on time, they went more places, and the employee's were payed better and had better compensation packages. if the DMV went private, the long line would disappear, i wouldn't be annoyed at the RETARDED people that work there (they would be fired for incompetence), and it would bring in revenue to both the State and the private company.

there let's try that one...

Im not jealous... well... not usually.

2009-01-28T11:31:00.000-08:00

I seem to have developed a problem. (among my many). i really can't think of any time in the past when i was jealous of anyone. I usually have the opinion and outlook that anything someone else has, i can also have or get, etc.

but i have heard recently of many of my friends getting promotions, stock options, GIGANTIC raises, and bonuses that are just NICE! (you all know who each of you are). and i in no way want you/them to think that i don't know that they deserve these things. they all worked hard for them and are completely deserving of what they have received. but i am left with this feeling, that i am working just as hard (if not harder in some cases) and am not receiving any of these... i will call them blessings. again, i usually don't mind. i think the reason it is... on my mind... is that i could really USE them! before it wasn't something that i NEED, it was more something that would be nice...

man, i hate this feeling. jealousy is the complete suxx0r!

I am with Isreal. period.

2009-01-15T08:51:00.000-08:00

I know this is a highly disputed subject. I know that war is bad. that horrible things happen during war time. I truly feel for those innocents that are paying the price for other peoples stupidity.

here is how i see it. every couple decades, Israel has to re-establish that they are not prey. they have had their rights, religion, and lives threatened far longer than... well just about anyone i can think of. Israel (and specifically Jerusalem) were theirs before the other people that are currently claiming that land. more importantly, they have been there for over 50 years now. they aren't leaving. it is almost set in stone. they will be there and fight until they are all dead, or everyone else leaves them alone.

in the "6 Day War", the Israeli's established that they are not a push over. in fact they are a cornered badger in its den. and Israel's neighbors keep poking sticks (read 'rockets') into the den. now those neighbors have some how got the whole world all upset that the badger came out and is not content to bite their hand... no they want the whole damn arm. I say they should get it. The U.N. should shut its freaking pie hole. if it had done what it was meant to, they would have stopped the rockets. IF ISRAEL KNOWS HOW THEY ARE GETTING ROCKETS and HOW TO STOP THEM. then the U.N. knew too.

so Israel. I say wreak havoc. destroy them. they have publicly declared that they intend to 'utterly destroy' you. i say you mimic their intentions. destroy them until they capitulate. and only stop when they have stopped. you have superior weapons and training. the only thing that keeps them from being wiped out is your morals. remind them of that.

I am an advocate of 'Total War' because it is the fastest way to end a war and to prevent future wars. in nature animals know when it is best to leave something alone. you don't bother a mother bear, you don't bother a feeding wolverine, and you leave a cornered badger the hell alone! Japan doesn't pick fights with the US anymore... any guess as to why?

what is wrong with society? wait. i have asked this before...

2009-01-12T11:02:00.001-08:00

so i know that i talk about my travels on public transport...often. but here is another example of how far our society has fallen.

a woman needed a seat. no one close to her was moving. so i half way back in the bus, stand and offer her my seat. i think nothing of it. except all the women on the bus start to clap for me. i am not lying. the women all clapped for me. they all say they are 'so impressed,' 'what a gentleman,' etc. i blush a little and stare at the floor for the remainder of the ride.

my only thought was this. every guy that i know and associate with, would have done the same thing. further more, my mother (and all of the mothers that i know of my friends) would have murdered me if i hadn't given up my seat. so if i don't know any of these A-Holes, does this mean that there aren't REALLY that many of them? or is it simply that i have a VERY small social circle? and if it is the latter... is that a bad thing?

The Utes are awesome.

2009-01-07T13:09:00.000-08:00

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3815656

that article by mr. Reilly is well stated and clarifies the issue the best.

'nuff said.

who REALLY uses calenders?

2009-01-07T10:51:00.000-08:00

i have a problem. my whole life i have had a great memory. this meant i never took notes all through school. i never kept a calender cause i remembered all my appointments, friends birthdays, etc. i know this doesn't sound like a 'problem' per se... except that since marriage my memory has progressively gone downhill. exponentially. i am starting to understand why people forget anniversaries (i remember mine, leave me be).

as a result of my previous stellar memory, i never learned to take good notes and i don't really think to 'check' a calender. what am i to do? this is getting really tough!

so here is what i have decided. i got myself a weekly calender and have gone through the whole thing and placed certain dates in it. i really hope i can get this working...

any suggestions? maybe one that doesn't actually require me to check a calender? :(

you can't kill the METAL

2008-12-31T13:30:00.000-08:00

I just have to say that i love being a dad.

when Hudson came out of the womb, he didn't cry. not a sound. but i knew he was mine because he gave the doctor a very distinct 'Cope scowl.' they rushed him to a warming table where the nurses put a cold thermometer in his armpit. no sound. but a look that very much said: i don't like that, remove it at once! then they had to prick his heel to check his blood sugar. again, no sound. but the look that he gave the nurse actually stopped her for a second and she looked at me! (as though i have some sort of influence over this child! i couldn't even talk him into coming out on time...)

I was beginning to worry that my son would be a mute, because he didn't make any sounds other than sneezes for the first few hours of life. (we learned that he can scream... yes he can...)

but i learned the true extent of my son's status as a BAMF, when the pediatrician came back from the circumcision and informed us that he hadn't made a sound. my son is a straight up HARDCORE, METAL puma.

those of you that REALLY know me, will know how proud this story made me!

the end is nigh...

2008-12-18T09:19:00.001-08:00

we have finally come to the conclusion that we will need to induce. so instead of having all my friends and family call me to say, in one form or another: wow, still no baby!

I will write it here.

the baby will be induced on Monday the 22nd. If by some miracle the little boy decides to grace us with his presence before then... I WILL LET YOU ALL KNOW. and it will be great.

I also will more than likely be very busy in the coming weeks. if anyone that reads this blog cares at all that i don't post often, i am officially apologizing now. cause you wont see much for a bit. because of this, i want to wish all of you A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS/HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

most anticipated child ever... well 2nd most.

2008-12-11T10:31:00.000-08:00

I am so fed up with waiting for my son to come. i was super excited for so long that now i just don't know what to do with myself... he STILL isn't here. he was due on the 1st of Dec. and here i sit at work thinking of nothing except that he still isn't here.

in my more delusional moments i even imagine that this must be what it felt like for the Nephites that were waiting for the birth of the Savior. Sitting around waiting for it... knowing that if the sign doesn't show up you are going to die... yeah... i know, a bit dramatic. but seriously! i am soooo ready for Hudson to come into this world! this anticipation just makes me think how much better life keeps getting! the longer i am alive the better things get! I love this little boy more than words can express and i haven't even seen him yet. :D

California is ruining me... or at least bringing out my worst.

2008-11-19T10:06:00.000-08:00

so this morning a man collapsed on the train platform and everyone rushed to see if he was OK. it was apparent to the 2 doctors and 1 nurse that had run over to check on him that he was OK, within about 45 seconds. as he sat up under his own power and was able to answer all of their questions. here is where i began to realize that i am an uncaring individual.

the train didn't leave. it waited. for 18 minutes. and the whole time, i thought to myself. 'what a selfish jerk. stop talking to the train conductor. we have places to be.'

this thought reminded me of 3 months back. there was a suicide. a man jumped in front of our train. he was killed instantly. they made us wait for over an hour. and my first thought was: 'why can't this guy off himself in some way that doesn't inconvenience over 700 people?'

and again... a man jumped from the overpass and stopped traffic for over 3 hours.... same first thought. i think i am becoming a rather pessimistic and callous person... what do you all think?

I am going to Hell aren't i?

why can't people keep their holidays in Chronological order?

2008-11-13T11:27:00.000-08:00

I do not hate Christmas! i love Christmas. i just don't like Christmas while i am working on a Halloween costume or preparing for another holiday. take them in order. as they come people!

I just want everyone to stop neglecting Thanksgiving. it is one of the best holidays by far! we get to binge and then pass out on the couch watching football while women go out and shop. could there be a more relaxing holiday ever conceived...? possibly, but it would be difficult.

while i am on the topic of holidays... why is it that last year the Christmas tree in Central park was changed to 'holiday tree'? i know they said it was to be politically correct... but that makes no sense. If you are celebrating Christmas, then you should be Christian. if you celebrate it and are not Christian then you should understand that it is a Christian holiday and hence the 'Christ' in the name of the celebration and calling the tree a Christmas Tree. changing the name like that is like telling people to call the Menorah the 'Holiday Menorah' to avoid offending others... wtf? you know? lets just leave it alone. if you celebrate a holiday that is not of your faith then realize it will have tenets that you do not espouse.

nightly reading.

2008-11-11T12:35:00.000-08:00

I am of the opinion that it is never early to begin the education of your child. that is why i have recently found the 'History of Civilization' by William Durrant. it is a 11 part series that details civilizations advance, starting with ancient Mesopotamia and working his way to modern day. I found the whole series used for $11. it is the best find ever! I will soon begin reading these to my little boy. I also plan on reading him my finance books! he will be such a smart little bugger! future CEO and Scholar all rolled into one!

as i have said before... I am SOOOO excited for this little one!

numbers

2008-11-11T12:27:00.000-08:00

I have been told that my son is going to be the 225th baby born to an Oaktree employee. Furthermore he will be the 26th this year.

in light of this i thought people might be interested in a few other numbers. he will be the 9th grandchild for my parents (as Matt and Mandy just had their 2nd yesterday!) and the 4th grandchild this year. he is the 1st grandchild on Kel's side of the family. he will be the youngest of five living generations. will be a 7th generation Latter Day Saint. and if i have my way he will be a first in many accomplishments on future dates. he is my first child and first son.

I am really excited to have this little boy here! this is going to be the BEST!

are you really that oblivious?

2008-11-06T07:50:00.000-08:00

I hate the stupid rolling briefcases. seriously. what lazy sack of crap can't carry a brief case? how much stuff do you really need to take to work that you need a luggage suitcase to haul to work?

If you are a user of one of these completely obnoxious bags, here are a few pointers for your own safety. ignoring these pointers could result in me losing what little 'cool' i have.

if you are fat and you are wheeling this bag around cause you can't physically carry it. this is a sign that you need more exercise. go get it. being that large is NOT acceptable unless you have a glandular problem.

if you are using it because you don't want to ruin your posture or it is bad for you back to carry the bag on one shoulder. think that through. unless you are 5'2" the little extend-able handle is not long enough and you walk hunched over anyway. that, my mentally crippled friend, is far worse for your back!

lastly, if you still insist on using that Devil-spawn device, be aware of where it is. in a crowded train station or on an escalator they are REALLY in THE WAY! if i trip over just one more of them i will pick the damn thing up and throw it. (they aren't that heavy you see? i can throw the damn thing). it does not get to take the space of a person on the escalator. people on the left are trying to pass you, so move that bag out of the way.

fair warning....

the captain of a sinking ship.

2008-11-04T17:09:00.000-08:00

so i have felt that this country is a sinking ship... from the war in Iraq/Afghanistan/N. Korea/Darfur/Iran(pending)/Pakistan to the economic breakdown, we are just in for a S*** storm.

keeping that in the back of my mind, i have decided that it really doesn't matter who the next president is. they just have to be willing to wade through all the crap and get their hands really dirty. there really isn't any other way to get things fixed. mechanics get dirty to fix a car, construction workers get dirty to build stuff... and the next president will have to get his reputation dirty.

good luck Obama (or in the less likely event, McCain).

this weekend was awesome

2008-10-20T19:37:00.001-07:00

This weekend i got to go back home for a little while. it was really great seeing my family. i miss my cantankerous, curmudgeon father. I miss my obscenely intelligent older brother that wasted those brains on being a science teacher (OK, good for him, but he could have done anything). and i really loved seeing my mom. the reason for this? I am a big mamma's boy. always have been. and i am not ashamed in the least.

also i was able to see many of my friends. one in particular stole the attention for this post. he will know who he is, because this is the big thing that i remember. on our way to the Real soccer game (they won, 3-1, and are in the playoffs) i said something mean to a mutual friend and he gave me a pretty decent dead leg for it. however, on the way out of the stadium a couple hours later.... he made a little girl cry. and then we both laughed...

The Lesson: i may be a bad person, but at least when i end up in hell... i will have my friends with me!

economy isn't so bad, it is the people...what is wrong with them?

2008-10-17T07:53:00.000-07:00

These past few days have been exceptionally difficult for me. i have put in more overtime in the last 10 days then is healthy. my SHORTEST day was still 13 hours. I am tired. very cranky. last night i left the office at 11:30 and missed all the trains out of LA. So i had to call my wife and mother-in-law to come pick me up. i got to bed at 2 AM. i have one of those horrible headaches behind my eyes from lack of sleep and strangers on the train this morning (at 5:40 AM, so you count the hours of sleep i have under my belt right now) told me that i look 'haggard.' and frankly i was feeling rather run down.

until...

i got off the train and was walking to my bus, i was walking behind 3 people my age and overheard their conversation. they are teachers for the inner city schools. and one of them says with panic in her voice: 'he says if i don't give him at least a D he will slit my throat and rape my daughter!' it was with this statement that i realized that our world is hopeless and that we should just stop offering public education to ungrateful, violent, little shits that need a good ass whooping. i mean what sort of failure are you afraid of that you feel you need to threaten the life or your teacher and the virtue or her daughter (who couldn't be more than 5 or 6 based on the age of the mother). I hate the world someday. there ARE more pressing issues that need to be dealt with other than the economy.

ramblings of a discontent

2008-10-09T08:49:00.000-07:00

i want to say that i am a huge believer in EQUALITY, but hate affirmative action. Supreme Court justice Thomas certainly thinks affirmative action is crap as well. (read just about anything he has authored).

we have so many people that receive undeserved position and power simply because of race, gender, or sexual orientation. "because they are entitled" to receive whatever it is. the problem is that they are not 'entitled' to crap. they need to earn it just like everyone else has to. (PLEASE note that i am not saying discrimination is acceptable. IT IS NOT.) we are beginning to see the development of a backlash. many people that have accomplished monumental achievements have then had them dismissed because it is assumed that they were 'given' the help or accomplishment as a 'beneficiary' of affirmative action. I even think that this is a part of the problem with Sarah Palin, she is defensive and says that people are sexist because they call into question her experience and credentials to be VP. maybe they are simply trying to determine if you fit the bill? maybe they want a QUALIFIED individual in charge of the country. and if you can prove to be that, then your gender has no bearing.

this little rant is my segue into Proposition 8 in California. it is the proposition that deals with marriage and how it is defined. at least that is what they have marketed it as. they say if this proposition is passed it will not allow gay marriage. if that is all that they were trying to do i would say 'can't vote for that.' as far as i am concerned everyone has the right to have half of their crap stolen in divorce proceedings. but it isn't about them being able to marry. it is about forcing their choice onto other people. i take issue with the part that will pass law that requires all churches to marry them, if they are asked to. that is forcing your beliefs and lifestyle on others that don't share that view. if you want to be married and the State says 'OK' and your pastor says 'no,' you should go get a civil union. you don't force your pastor to perform the marriage with threats of legal recourse. that is changing from equality to bigotry, just going the other way. the failure of the propostion also forces the teaching of homosexual sex as part of sex education in schools. The purpose of these programs is to promote abstinence if at all possible and to limit irresponsible sexual practices. i don't know about any of you, but they never told me how to 'do it' (i think most people are bright enough to figure that out), so we don't need to teach kids how to 'do it' differently.

equality, people, not reverse bigotry.

feeling sick...very sick

2008-10-08T14:51:00.000-07:00

have you ever been called by your boss's boss's boss? and been called by name, and asked why you didn't do something that you were supposed to do? yeah that is about the most uncomfortable i have ever been. ever. it left me shaking in my office. lets say that i am only now beginning to fight down the panic. in this economy i do not need to screw anything up... i mean i work for an Investment Bank, this is a very bad time to hope that your mistakes aren't as bad as someone else's! i think i am going to be sick again....